Friday, December 13, 2013

Tis the season to be.... overwhelmed

We're not traveling this year at Christmas and it's a good thing because even so, I feel like I'm about to go insane! I'm exaggerating, of course. But seriously the holidays are crazy busy. And I'm not even doing half the stuff other families are - which I'm ok with - but still - I'm often overwhelmed.

Taking my son to see the lights at Opryland was overwhelming. I have these ideas in my head of how magical it will be and it never really pans out how I pictured. Like the time a few weeks ago when we went to the Lighting of the Green outdoor concert at Lipscomb that I went to multiple years in a row before I had Mihretu and thought it would be the most magical Christmas thing to take him to and he wouldn't sit still and poked, prodded and annoyingly violated my face with his little hands while not sitting still at all on my lap and crying because he didn't have water, even though he just had a huge cup of hot cocoa and cookies. We left after song #3 cause mommy was frustrated and not enjoying the concert at all. And he clearly wasn't enjoying it or could care less about the lovely carols coming from the stage. We won't be going next year.

And we've seen the Opryland lights now so we won't be doing that again either. It wasn't that bad but M likes to run ahead and he tried to jump into the revolving door by himself even though I told him to wait for me and I about had a heart attack thinking he was going to get his fingers pinched or chopped off in there. I managed to run and jump in there with him. Thank goodness my friend was holding the stroller. He likes to ride the escalator so I had our friend hold the stroller then too so I could take him up and down once only he didn't want to hold my hand and thought it would be fun to walk backwards on it or sit down on it even though the end was nearing and again - I was picturing his coat getting stuck at the top or bottom and him getting badly hurt or falling off the thing. We couldn't just ride it normally. Oh no. So then he got in trouble and I had to physically make him stand up. And that is always fun. He likes to grunt or growl at me when I tell him not to do something when we are in public and make this grumpy "you can't tell me what to do" face. Sometimes he yells out "you bad - YOU in trouble mommy" with that grumpy hateful expression on his face. Open spaces and public places are not friends of mine right now. It's harder to wrangle your kid and try to attempt discipline or manners or staying close by because there's no time out chair and sometimes I've got things in my hands and have a hard time chasing after him. And then I just get downright mad and miserable and very often - sweaty. That's no fun for anyone - well, at least not for me and Mihretu. And I don't want to get that way. And I know it's possible not to because I have friends who just seem to manage it all with ease, even if their kids aren't exactly cooperating - they don't seem so frustrated and overwhelmed as me. Maybe it gets easier with time. It probably does. I mean, it is easier than it was last year when he first came home. Maybe I just need some couch time - you know, some therapy! Seriously, I think I do. In the meantime, I just think for now, because I know what settings overwhelm me, it might be better to avoid or majorly limit those settings from our schedule and life. Mihretu is happier when mommy is happy so it seems to be a good idea.

And then there's other things that are fun and awesome but that when they are all in a row right after each other - also get overwhelming. Mostly the pre-planning of each thing. Cause the parties and events will be super fun when they happen so I'm excited about them - I just need to get the details beforehand done so I can get to the fun part. I'm going to try to knock a bunch out today.

I just made a store list cause I'm throwing a baby shower on Sunday and need to get the food for the meal (already got the gifts and decor), I have a holiday party to go to on Monday night and you need to bring a $10 gift to exchange with the adults plus a book for the kids to exchange plus a snack of some kind and then Tuesday, I'm hosting our office holiday party at my house and I need to get all the food for that plus a $15 gift for the exchange and then on Thursday, Mihretu has to bring a homemade craft to school for his school gift exchange and I have to figure out a craft we can make together for that, plus I somehow picked this same week to be in charge of bringing snacks for his class. The neighbors asked me to petsit at Christmas and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack just thinking about it so I said no because I just knew I'd be too overwhelmed and in turn it would affect my time with Mihretu and I don't want to be grumpy or stressed. I feel bad not doing it but am learning that I just have to say no sometimes.

I also say no to things that are around nap time. If Mihretu doesn't have a nap, he's a mess. A whiny, everything is upsetting, overly dramatic mess. And again, that's no fun for him or me. So when we go to visit people in other states or people come to visit us - I plan our days around naps and I will very rarely make an exception. I think some people think I'm too uptight. I probably am. But I know how frustrated and overwhelmed I'll get if he hasn't had a nap and starts showing it. And I know based on the fact that he shows it that he really does still need a nap. So we rarely skip naps. It's just not worth it. So I don't care if people think it's crazy to plan your life around nap time or bed time. That's how I roll because that's part of keeping things smooth and therefore as not overwhelming as possible.

And speaking of not overwhelming, I'm heading to the grocery store right now during the day while M is at school and I'm on lunch break to get some of the items knocked off my list without a child with me.

Ahhhhh, tis the season. I'm doing what I need to do to make it all come together and trying to take deep breaths and stay calm:) Hope you are too!


2 comments:

  1. I just want to wish each of you a very merry christmas along with a very happy and healthy and prosperous New Year.
    Your a wonderful woman and mom with a very lucky son.
    Bspector@rogers.blackberry.net

    ReplyDelete
  2. You can DO it, Autumn! I love following your journey and especially love your honesty. I think couch time (like for real therapy) sounds like a fantastic idea for mommy. The holidays are stressful and we NEED to remember to take time for ourselves. You deserve it. KEEP SAYING NO! That sounds crazy but people like you and me are pleasers and we have to stick to our guns on some things. Lunch during nap time? Nope. Pet sitting? Nope. Getting out of your pajamas on a Saturday? NOPE. You can do it, I'll be praying for you!

    "Be still and know that I am God."

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