When is the exact moment that you become a mother? Is it the moment the courts tell you that it's official? Is it the moment you have your Embassy date and you get to bring your child home? Is it the moment you first hold your child? Or is it the moment that you first decide to step out in faith in this crazy journey called adoption?
I kind of think it's all of the above and everything in between.
I don't know if the general public would agree with me or not. But I guess it doesn't really even matter. What matters is that you're in this thing... for the long haul... as long as that haul might be. There are days when it feels surreal and so far off in the future that you can't even really grasp it. And there are other days when it feels more than real and you can picture your life, your home, your world with this little person in every part of it. There are days when it feels like nothing is happening. But thankfully, there are more days than that where I am reminded that God is the one in control and that He sees the big picture and just so happens to have perfect timing. When I can't see why it's taking so long, I know He can. And I have to be ok with that.
I'm reminded of the scripture that is painted on the walls of an orphanage where I just so happened to have met an adorable little 2 year old snuggle bug that instantly stole my heart:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11
He knows. He cares. He is in this thing. And whether the general consensus says I'm already a mother or not, I feel like one. Ready and willing to wait, to fight, to pray and to trust - all to get one very precious little child home to his momma who is gonna love him with all that she is!
True story---Before I ever knew you were adopting him... I saw the above picture.
ReplyDeleteI thought instantly that you looked like a mom.
Something struck me. I never thought that way before. Out of all the MANY pictures of you and other children from all over the world. This picture was different.
Praise God He sets the lonely in families. He heard the cry of your heart. He heard your son's cry from across the world. He orchestrated a divine connection beyond flesh and blood... beyond dna and gene pools... He conceived a son in your heart to love. Before He made the world He planned this. He is still in all of this. I know you love him so much already. I can only imagine how you pray for him as you long to take care of him soon. I will continue to pray him home too... till he is home in your arms in TN.
Autumn, Saw your picture with your sweet boy on the side of my blog and wish I could just give you a hug! You've been on my heart. Praying for God to move mountains for you and your little guy. Thought of you with this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPQHf7ZtO08&feature=related
ReplyDeleteJust now saw this and it was perfect timing Alisha - needed that reminder today:) Thank you!
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DeleteI've been enjoying reading your blog. I am a single adopter in the UK. I adopted locally so a different story, but many of the same issues!
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