Mihretu is growing up before my very eyes. Almost every day he comes up with a new word or phrase or says something that just makes me laugh. His latest thing is that he likes to ask "what does that mean?" when I say a word he doesn't understand. He's speaking in sentences all the time now. Only a few months ago - he wasn't doing that. He's almost 5 years old and he's catching up to his age quickly for a little boy who only a year and a half ago didn't know any english and was living in an institution. He likes to say "that's how it works" and "that's what happened" and "that's what I'm looking for" and "that's when I'm little - now I'm getting bigger". He absolutely loves watching the little video I made him with video footage and photos from when I first met him in 2011 at 2 years old and again when I went back a year later and then when I went to bring him home. It's edited to 2 songs so it's not super long but he LOVES it. He watches it over and over and over. He's super funny and loves to dance and be goofy. And he's so smart. I'm such a proud momma.
I posted this on facebook today but wanted to share it here too cause it just made my day:
Hot water pipes frozen this morning - I started praying out loud that it would not burst the pipes. Mihretu asked what I was doing and I said "praying". Without missing a beat, he put his little hands together and started praying too. "God please help water...." he paused and looked at me for the word so I said "that the pipes won't burst". He repeated me by saying it and then said "amen". Afterwards he asked what burst meant. Love that kid!
Motherhood has been a hard transition for me personally but it's not because of him - it's because of me. It's amazing how all your childhood junk gets stirred up when you become a parent. I spent the first year beating myself up at my reactions to things that in my rational mind I knew were totally ridiculous. Triggers, they call em. Buttons that when pushed take you back to familiar feelings or reactions you had years ago. Like 20 or more years ago in this case. I've tried to be as real as possible in my blog for hopes that it could help someone else who may relate to some of my struggles. A few weeks ago I started counseling. I decided to go with a place in town called Rock House Center because of their biblical and prayerful approach to it. I have been to a lot of different types of counseling in my life and the last series of counseling sessions I went to a few years back were prayer focused and spirit led and that was hands down the most healing I've ever experienced so I wanted something similar this time. So thrilled with the first 3 appointments. It's hard when you start unpacking all your baggage from your childhood to someone new who doesn't know your history. When you spew it all out at once, it sounds like an awful lot. My goodness. But it's also so freeing to just get it out and try to honestly explain to someone how you feel and what current present day emotions remind you of situations from childhood. We've already covered so much ground. And I'm already seeing differences in my responses to things, more awareness of when I begin to feel overwhelmed or anxious or those buttons get pushed and paying attention to how I'm feeling in those moments. So thankful for all that God is showing me and teaching me. And for the grace He's giving me for myself. That was the biggest reason why year #1 was the hardest - I was being so incredibly hard on myself. And it set me on a path of feeling totally down and while I didn't even fully realize it at the time - I can look back now and honestly say I was depressed. I just felt so defeated and so disappointed in my reactions and feelings. All of which completely took me by surprise. What I'm learning this week is that change is a process and that's ok. It doesn't necessarily happen overnight.
On another health related note, I began a new journey with my physical health a few weeks ago too. I'd been seeing some friends post about Isagenix on their facebook pages for awhile and I was very much in need of doing something to feel better and lose some of this excess weight I'd been carrying around for like 4 years. I was just feeling sore all the time - my back was hurting like everyday and my left heal had started hurting - thought I had a heal spur honestly. I didn't have any energy or motivation and really just wanted to feel better because I truly believe that played a part in my moods and feeling down. I'm on day 22 and I am so thankful. I feel great! My back and even my foot are not hurting any more which is a huge praise. I've already lost 9 and a half pounds. I can totally tell a difference already and it's been super easy to follow. 2 really yummy shakes each day and then a real dinner (healthy, of course) and a cleanse day (or 2) each week. I discovered pretty quickly that I have a gluten sensitivity cause after not having it for awhile and then having it - I instantly felt awful. So tired I felt drugged within like 20 minutes of eating it. Very interesting. I think I just had a lot of inflammation all the time before and that was why I was hurting all the time. Anyway, I won't go on and on about this but I'm just sharing to say that I'm excited about this year and all that I feel like God is going to do as I focus on health - physical, spiritual and emotional. I'm excited to be not only losing some unwanted pounds but also to letting God heal and transform me into a better mom who isn't so anxious and overwhelmed so much of the time.
In the meantime, Mihretu is loving the shakes too and since I'm no longer doing coffee which he so very much loved to help me make in the morning - he is excited that he gets to help me scoop out the shake mix and dump that and the water into the blender each morning. He LOVES to help. He would rather help with that kind of thing or transferring laundry from the washer to the dryer or unload the dishwasher or take out the trash over playing with toys any day. That's why Montessori is so perfect for him. It just fits who God made him to be. He's my independent little guy who loves to help. In his class at school it's mixed ages and this year he's one of the big kids and he thrives on helping so he has really been a huge helper with the younger kids at school. Especially those first few weeks when the little ones were adjusting. It made me so proud of him when his teachers would tell me how he helped with the young friends and showed them around, made them feel at ease and taught them things. I tell ya what - God has big plans for this little guy. He's a future leader for sure. I just love watching him blossom! I'm so blessed to get to be his mommy.
I posted this on facebook today but wanted to share it here too cause it just made my day:
Hot water pipes frozen this morning - I started praying out loud that it would not burst the pipes. Mihretu asked what I was doing and I said "praying". Without missing a beat, he put his little hands together and started praying too. "God please help water...." he paused and looked at me for the word so I said "that the pipes won't burst". He repeated me by saying it and then said "amen". Afterwards he asked what burst meant. Love that kid!
Motherhood has been a hard transition for me personally but it's not because of him - it's because of me. It's amazing how all your childhood junk gets stirred up when you become a parent. I spent the first year beating myself up at my reactions to things that in my rational mind I knew were totally ridiculous. Triggers, they call em. Buttons that when pushed take you back to familiar feelings or reactions you had years ago. Like 20 or more years ago in this case. I've tried to be as real as possible in my blog for hopes that it could help someone else who may relate to some of my struggles. A few weeks ago I started counseling. I decided to go with a place in town called Rock House Center because of their biblical and prayerful approach to it. I have been to a lot of different types of counseling in my life and the last series of counseling sessions I went to a few years back were prayer focused and spirit led and that was hands down the most healing I've ever experienced so I wanted something similar this time. So thrilled with the first 3 appointments. It's hard when you start unpacking all your baggage from your childhood to someone new who doesn't know your history. When you spew it all out at once, it sounds like an awful lot. My goodness. But it's also so freeing to just get it out and try to honestly explain to someone how you feel and what current present day emotions remind you of situations from childhood. We've already covered so much ground. And I'm already seeing differences in my responses to things, more awareness of when I begin to feel overwhelmed or anxious or those buttons get pushed and paying attention to how I'm feeling in those moments. So thankful for all that God is showing me and teaching me. And for the grace He's giving me for myself. That was the biggest reason why year #1 was the hardest - I was being so incredibly hard on myself. And it set me on a path of feeling totally down and while I didn't even fully realize it at the time - I can look back now and honestly say I was depressed. I just felt so defeated and so disappointed in my reactions and feelings. All of which completely took me by surprise. What I'm learning this week is that change is a process and that's ok. It doesn't necessarily happen overnight.
On another health related note, I began a new journey with my physical health a few weeks ago too. I'd been seeing some friends post about Isagenix on their facebook pages for awhile and I was very much in need of doing something to feel better and lose some of this excess weight I'd been carrying around for like 4 years. I was just feeling sore all the time - my back was hurting like everyday and my left heal had started hurting - thought I had a heal spur honestly. I didn't have any energy or motivation and really just wanted to feel better because I truly believe that played a part in my moods and feeling down. I'm on day 22 and I am so thankful. I feel great! My back and even my foot are not hurting any more which is a huge praise. I've already lost 9 and a half pounds. I can totally tell a difference already and it's been super easy to follow. 2 really yummy shakes each day and then a real dinner (healthy, of course) and a cleanse day (or 2) each week. I discovered pretty quickly that I have a gluten sensitivity cause after not having it for awhile and then having it - I instantly felt awful. So tired I felt drugged within like 20 minutes of eating it. Very interesting. I think I just had a lot of inflammation all the time before and that was why I was hurting all the time. Anyway, I won't go on and on about this but I'm just sharing to say that I'm excited about this year and all that I feel like God is going to do as I focus on health - physical, spiritual and emotional. I'm excited to be not only losing some unwanted pounds but also to letting God heal and transform me into a better mom who isn't so anxious and overwhelmed so much of the time.
In the meantime, Mihretu is loving the shakes too and since I'm no longer doing coffee which he so very much loved to help me make in the morning - he is excited that he gets to help me scoop out the shake mix and dump that and the water into the blender each morning. He LOVES to help. He would rather help with that kind of thing or transferring laundry from the washer to the dryer or unload the dishwasher or take out the trash over playing with toys any day. That's why Montessori is so perfect for him. It just fits who God made him to be. He's my independent little guy who loves to help. In his class at school it's mixed ages and this year he's one of the big kids and he thrives on helping so he has really been a huge helper with the younger kids at school. Especially those first few weeks when the little ones were adjusting. It made me so proud of him when his teachers would tell me how he helped with the young friends and showed them around, made them feel at ease and taught them things. I tell ya what - God has big plans for this little guy. He's a future leader for sure. I just love watching him blossom! I'm so blessed to get to be his mommy.
