tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16867481076331851592024-03-19T16:05:54.188-05:00My Single AdoptionMy journey of adoption and parenting as a single womanAutumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.comBlogger131125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-14337085295531097142021-02-17T12:49:00.000-06:002021-02-17T12:49:08.887-06:00<br />It has been almost 2 years since I posted. Just today it occured to me that there may be some single adoptive mommas out there who follow this blog who may be interested in my new ministry. In particular, we have a retreat this summer (July 2021) just for single adoptive moms!!! More about that below.<br /><br />Long story short: COVID-19 put a wrench in so many things - one of those things being my job of 10+ years with Go Be Love International (dba of Visiting Orphans, Inc). We all got laid off at the end of March 2020 because of COVID-19 and its effect on international travel. I started praying about what would be next for me and a few months later, God put a retreat center vision on my heart. In August, I filed the paperwork to create a 501c3 ministry called Restoration Nation Retreat. <br /><br /><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://restorationnationretreat.org/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="588" data-original-width="1934" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdLmJTDV4u7GFf4a9KobSEslRzUP0VgmSveOmXtRzw0ISZ04NmeNfVdXEpJmL9hWXok7wsK9Yz7YV1WB_GbAC7U9Ej9INCVaUXzfyj7P9jmCLuCuar2Upwq2ZlgwCX5c8wXlVBKUucl64/s320/Logo2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div>About RNR</b><br />Restoration Nation Retreat (RNR) hosts Christ-centered <a href="https://restorationnationretreat.org/retreats">retreats </a>designed to refresh, nourish and restore those who attend. Our heart is to pour out the extravagant love of the Father on each attendee. The vision for RNR was born out of much prayer and a heart for missionaries, ministry leaders, foster and adoptive families, as well as those experiencing burnout, grief or the effects of trauma. Retreats will be designed with each group of participants in mind.<br /><br /><b>Our Purpose</b><br />To see people healed and whole in Jesus.<br /><br /><b>Our Mission</b><br />This mission of Restoration Nation Retreat is to refresh, nourish and restore those in need of healing through Christ-centered retreats, counseling, and other services. <div><br /></div><div><b>Our Website: </b><a href="https://restorationnationretreat.org/">https://restorationnationretreat.org/</a></div><div><br /></div><div>As of today, we have 5 retreats in the works for 2021. 3 for missionary ladies and 2 for adoptive moms. One of those adoptive mom retreats is specifically for Single Adoptive Moms!!! Being one myself, this one is near and dear to my heart. I've never heard of a retreat for us before and many of the adoptive mom retreats I've been to - us single momma's are often looked over entirely. One retreat I went to - I asked the host if there were other single adoptive moms at the retreat and she looked at me and said "Honestly, I don't know." She looked at me like she had no idea this was even a category of adoptive moms. The retreat was beneficial and refreshing but a lot of the content was geared toward married couples. Most of the guest speakers spoke about "my husband and I" and so on. It just felt like I wasn't really seen. It's been on my heart for many years to do a retreat for single adoptive moms. Long before I had any inkling that I'd be starting a ministry that specifically does retreats. I didn't know but God did. And I'm so excited to love on single adoptive moms at our retreat this July at Sandy Cove Ministries in North East, Maryland. If you are a single adoptive mom who is reading this - I would love for you to come! All the details here: <a href="https://restorationnationretreat.org/july-2021-retreat-1">https://restorationnationretreat.org/july-2021-retreat-1</a> Cost is only $100 as my heart in starting this ministry is to keep costs as low as possible so that it's never a reason why someone doesn't attend. Restoration Nation Retreat will be fundraising the rest of the cost. We're seeking sponsors for this so if you or someone you know are interested in sponsoring, you can find out more about that here: <a href="https://restorationnationretreat.org/retreat-sponsorship">https://restorationnationretreat.org/retreat-sponsorship</a></div><div><br /></div><div>Besides the new ministry, I am also doing freelance design work for many clients (mostly nonprofits). I just finished website updates for a nonprofit in Georgia, a logo/coffee label for a friend who bought a coffee farm in Hawaii, a brochure for another ministry, and am currently working on a 2 week fundraising campaign for a mentoring organization as they honor one of their long-time mentors who is retiring. It's been a joy to get to use my skills to help other ministries and companies. I'm really loving it. And I'm excited about the new ministry and our first retreat coming up April 29 to May 2, 2021 for missionary ladies. </div><div><br /></div><div>On the homefront, my son is growing like crazy. Since January of 2020, he's gone up 3 pant sizes. I can barely keep up. He's about to be 12 years old. Where has the time even gone? It seems like just yesterday I was blogging about his first English words. My boy is strong willed and definitely a future leader. He does not like to follow. He likes to be in charge. Always has. I know God has big plans for him. It is my greatest gift to get to be his momma. Before the quarantine of 2020, we were supposed to go to Ethiopia. The trip got cancelled 2 days before travel. We still have a flight credit and cannot wait to go when it's safe. We both miss Ethiopia and all our dear ones and family there so much. We also miss our family in Michigan as we haven't been able to see them either. We've been having fun closer to home and staying put in Florida. I'm thankful to live in a place with such amazing weather and lots of fun outdoor things to do. We've been to Orlando a few times and spent a lot of the summer at the pool and beach. Recently, we went to Sea World Orlando for the first time and Mihretu and I went on the big roller coasters. I get a little nauseous these days but Mihretu absolutely loves these rides. Needless to say, he went way more times than I did. I'm so glad we moved here almost 6 years ago. I've been thankful for that decision every single day. You never know what God has planned but as of this moment, I don't ever want to leave Florida. </div><div><br /></div><div>For those of you who are long-time readers of my blog, I'm sorry I don't get on here much anymore. I'm very sensitive to what kinds of things I share about my kiddo online. The more I've learned over the years from adoption groups and from adult adoptees in those groups, the less I want to share. I think that's a good thing. I certainly don't ever want my son to read my old posts and be embarrassed in any way. I do very much want to create a safe place for single adoptive moms to know they are not alone. Please connect with me through the new ministry or come to a future retreat. I would love to meet you! </div><div><br /></div><div>With much love,</div><div>Autumn</div><br />Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-51034734903566221562019-07-12T19:03:00.001-05:002019-07-12T19:07:21.309-05:00LOVE our Ethiopian family<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We just returned from Ethiopia and oh boy - my heart is completely wrecked.<br />
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Mihretu and I traveled on our own last March (2018) over his spring break to visit Ethiopia for the first time since I brought him home in 2012. Our mission was to find his grandma. I had visited her once before, a friend of mine went the year later to update her with photos and such and I felt it was time for Mihretu and I to hop on a plane and go in person. The only problem was - the phone number I had for the neighbor no longer worked and I didn't have an address or anything. We couldn't let anyone know we were coming and we didn't even know exactly how or where to go. I knew what town it was and thought I would possibly recognize the area and know where to go. I didn't. Once I got there, nothing really looked familiar. But I had this book that I had made from the first time I met grandma - a book of photos of her, photos of family from photos she showed me and I had made a book for Mihretu with all of those photos in it and I brought that with me. That book helped tremendously. We drove around the town, stopping and asking people if they knew or recognized her. We went to town offices. One local even hopped in with us both days to try and help. The town was bigger than I thought and I wasn't at all sure where to look but strangely had a peace. As it turns out, our driver/translator/friend was super stressed out about it and wasn't sure we would even find her. I was just sure we would. I had this overwhelming peace that we would find her. And praise Jesus - we did - on Mihretu's 9th birthday. During that visit, we found out that grandma is actually great-grandma. We met uncles and aunts and neighbors and were welcomed into this beautiful family. They were so happy to see Mihretu and it was the most beautiful experience... for both of us. I was welcomed in so sweetly, told that I was now part of the family and showered with hugs and kisses and blessings. There is no other way to describe it other than a holy experience. They didn't know we were coming but they dropped everything to spend a few days with us when we showed up out of the blue. Mihretu's great aunt told us that if we came again we had to stay with her. She brought us to her home one of the days and made us a yummy meal and some awesome Ethiopian coffee. She gave Mihretu foot rubs and covered him in kisses. She even came to Addis Ababa the last day so she could come to the airport and see us off. It was so sweet! I adore her. That was last year (March 2018) and we knew we had to go back as soon as we possibly could.<br />
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We just returned in June of 2019. I work for Go Be Love International and I planned a trip to Uganda and Ethiopia that I would lead. My co-leader, Karen, would bring the team home so that Mihretu and I could stay after the team left and see the family. We had an awesome week in Uganda followed by 6 great days in Ethiopia. We had a super fun team and a great experience. It was such a great trip. But nothing quite compared to our extra 5 days after the team left.<br />
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We stayed in Mihretu's great aunt's home and it was one of the sweetest weeks of my life. I adore her. I adore the whole family. I can't even describe how wonderful they are. This time we got to meet birth mom, 3 uncles, a second cousin (his great aunt's son who speaks English and was staying in the home with us - him speaking English was super helpful in the evenings when the translator wasn't there and Mihretu hit it off with him instantly), more neighbors, friends, grandma, even Mihretu's aunts pastor. We stayed 4 nights in his aunt's home. I felt like she rolled out the red carpet for us. She was so welcoming and sweet and oh my word, she is the best cook ever. Seriously - every single thing she made was so delicious. She even taught me how to make some Ethiopian food. It was so beautiful getting to stay in her home and getting to be around the family so much. I absolutely love Ethiopian culture. I love the slower pace of life there. I love sitting in a circle around coffee being slowly made and just being together. Even though I often didn't understand what was being said unless the translator told me (so thankful for our translator friend who came every single day from morning till about 6pm), I still loved just seeing the family interact with each other, and with Mihretu. I loved how comfortable he was around them. I loved how comfortable I was. My heart is so full and I feel so incredibly grateful that we can know them. What a beautiful gift.<br />
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Usually once a year, we visit my family in Michigan. And now, we get to also visit Mihretu's family in Ethiopia. How awesome is that? We are definitely going back. As often as we possibly can.<br />
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I know people sometimes get fearful about these kinds of things. And honestly, I literally have never even heard of anyone staying in the home of their child's birth family. But I'm not one to follow the norm. And I'm so glad because I would have missed out on the most amazing 5 days ever. I would have missed getting to see that although we are different in many ways, we're also very similar in other ways. As I was sitting there watching all the uncles throw cubed beef in a pan over an outside fire and watching them interact and talk with each other - it reminded me of bbq's at my dad's house and all my uncles and my 2 brothers all around my dad doing the same thing. As photos from our time there had been printed out and were being passed around among the ladies and they all started laughing and I asked the translator why and he said they were teasing Mihretu's aunt because she was making a really silly face in one of the photos - it reminded me of the ladies in my family and how we would do the same thing. We're not really all that different. And I feel 100% completely at home with this family and so incredibly thankful for the opportunity to know them.<br />
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We share a love - a love of this precious boy named Mihretu. He's part of their family. He's part of my family. And now we are all connected together as family. It's a beautiful thing and I thank God for this most amazing and rare gift. I love that I get to be part of that family simply because I became a mom. I had no idea when I said yes to adopting Mihretu that I would be adopted into his entire family. I love our Ethiopian family more than words can say.<br />
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-39854797174406294102017-04-11T08:26:00.002-05:002019-07-12T19:25:30.350-05:00Perseverance<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>By definition Perseverance is: <br /><br />steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.<br /><br /> Also notice the word "severe" is in there right in the middle of it - just saying;)</b><br />
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One thing I know - parenting is hard and will use up every ounce of creativity, energy and patience you have. Sometimes all in one night.<br />
What I'm learning (over and over and over again) is that if I can stay calm and not be triggered by my child's triggers and meltdowns - things go much better. The fits may still last 1 hour and 30 minutes and there literally be nothing I can do to make it better (a fact that is still hard for me to grasp cause I want to fix it). But if I ride it out and stay level headed, speak calmly and lovingly. If I can breath and talk myself out of the feelings that all this noise and chaos means life is out of control. If I don't engage or let his attempts to push my buttons actually push them or even if I fake it really well and pretend I'm not cringing inside - and I just press on, keeping repeating myself calmly and kindly, keep meeting his needs for food or warmth - dry clothes the other day after the pool, whatever it may be - and sometimes I have no idea cause I try it all and nothing works - IF I can do all that and just stay regulated - all goes so so so much better. It may not blow over any quicker. It may not instantly take the rage away. But when it finally blows over - there isn't a need for me to appologize for losing my cool also. There isn't the nagging guilt that brings me down for days. There is instead connection and peace and even sometimes a very sweet little boy who wants to snuggle up and act like nothing ever happened. Last night there was even a very brief "sorry" in there which I didn't prompt and has never been something he has liked saying.<br />
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I know all this in my head. And yesterday I stayed the course. Last week, I stayed the course 3 out of 6 days and lost my mind the other 3 out of 6. It's those times that frustrate me the most. Far more than his behavior or the fact that we're even dealing with going on 3 weeks of almost nightly meltdowns. I'm frustrated with me, with my triggers, with my baggage, with the fact that I'm not acting like the adult every time, that I do and say the things I don't want to and the things I do want to do and say - I don't do. Sounds like a scripture I know.<br />
<b><br />Romans 7:14-25<br /><br />14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+7&version=NIV#fen-NIV-28110c">c</a>] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.<br /><br /><br />21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!</b><br />
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It is hard. Just when I think we've gotten through the hard - a new season comes and a different version of hard hits. This is parenting. I know that it's hard regardless. But what I don't have it to compare to personally but what friends who have bio and adopted kiddos tell me is that trauma makes it harder. I believe it. I know my own junk reminds me of that. How hard it is to reprogram the brain. Years of counseling and I'm still working through my stuff. And I didn't even spend my first 3.5 years in an orphanage. When I stop and realize the reality of where my son came from and how those first few years must have been for him, I am amazed at how well he is doing. Those scars don't just go away. The way his brain was wired early on, whether he remembers any of it or not, it's still in there. And when he's tired or hungry or cold or just over stimulated - that flight, fight or freeze part of the brain kicks in and all reason goes out the window. I've been trying to "talk" him out of it - spewing words and explanations and reasonings at him when really I just need to shut my mouth and ride it out with him. Seriously, this is one of my biggest struggles since I'm a verbal processor and all about talking things out. It doesn't work with him. Not in these moments. It makes it worse. His response is fight. My response I would say growing up was sometimes a little of each but as I grew older - it was definitely fight also. I'm also extremely stressed out by loud noises such as a child screaming and raging for any length of time. Any kind of chaos gives me a panic reaction inside that makes me feel like danger is coming. I'm sure it must be the same for my kiddo. So imagine me and my son - both triggered - both going to that fight part of the brain and you'll quickly see why there is a lot of yelling back and forth going on and a very unpleasant scene. Our neighbors must think we've lost our minds. If I'm struggling to keep myself regulated and I've been through years of counseling and have a very keen awareness of my issues - how much more difficult is it for him? No wonder we've had a hard 3 weeks.<br />
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I keep praying. I keep talking myself through it. I keep reminding myself not to "talk at him" in those moments (or hours). I keep reminding myself that it's ok that it's loud. It's ok that I can't instantly calm him. I just need to be present and calm and loving. I just need to ride it out with him. I don't need to enter into the trauma with him. But I do need to love him through it and do every single thing that I can to not engage in a negative way. Yelling isn't helping. And I hate it anyway. So my prayer daily is Lord help me. Help me be a better parent. Help me not get triggered. Help me to stay level headed. Help me to ride it out with him. And most of all - help me to help him. This is the most important job I will ever have - being his mom. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has big plans for him. I want to help in any way I possibly can to help shape him into the man he will become. And help him through his triggers and trauma. And I can see how God is trying to show me that I still need to get some healing of my own in those areas.<br />
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I am grateful for my faith. Grateful for the power of prayer. Grateful for a few close friends that I can be real and raw with and text and say "pray right now" and I know they do. I can feel those prayers. I am grateful for people to be honest with. To be able to say "I'm struggling" and not feel judged. To even have other parents share their struggles with me. This is what is needed friends. Community. People to do life with. To be real with. Maybe every parent doesn't struggle in this exact same way but if we listen to those lies playing in our mind when we mess up - those lies that tell us "You're the only one with this issue. You're the worst parent. You're a failure." and if we keep listening and believing all those lies and we don't tell anyone of our struggle - then we don't even know the truth - that others are struggling too. Some in the same ways. Some in very different ways. But so many, maybe even all or almost all of us, are struggling. We don't have to be afraid to say it. I'm sick of the world telling us we have to pretend we have it all together. It's all an act. It's all a big fat lie. And you know who the father of lies is? Satan. Yeah, that's who. Getting into the light is where the healing comes. Being real. Being honest. Not pretending you're fine if you're really not. You don't have to write it in a blog for all the world to see - that's surely not everyone's style or comfort level. But do you have at least 1 or 2 people you can sit down with and be raw and honest? Maybe for you married folks - maybe it's your spouse. For us single mommas, we had better have some close friends cause everyone needs that kind of safe place to take your struggles to. I cannot imagine parenting or doing much else in life without that. I'm grateful for my people. And grateful to my Jesus for not leaving me where I am or where I was - for constantly teaching me and showing me and even revealing my junk because that's the opportunity for healing. Healing for me. And healing for my son. It's a lifetime journey. And that's why my favorite scripture is still:<br />
<b><br />James 1:2-4<br /><br />2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+1&version=NIV#fen-NIV-30269a">a</a>] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. </b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
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<b><span style="color: yellow;">EDITED ON 7/12/2019 TO ADD:</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: yellow;">One thing I haven't blogged about since it's been literally 2 years since I last even posted a blog, is that sometime in the last 2 years (I think it was late 2017, early 2018 but not exactly sure) we discovered that Mihretu is extremely sensitive to artificial food dyes. I came across a TedTalk of a mom talking about how her kid acted when the child had food with dyes in it and it was literally describing my kiddo's behavior to a T. Everything I thought was trauma related - not so sure it really was at all. After months and months of rage like episodes that would end up in throwing up, and then coming across that TedTalk - I began to figure out that artificial dyes might be playing a roll. We cut it out and I'm not even kidding, the behavior improved within a matter of days. He's gotten really good at reading labels and avoiding stuff with dyes also and it's been over a year and a half since we cut it out. Once in a great while, we miss that something has dyes in it and several times Mihretu ends up throwing up. This has happened a few times when he got cheese on a burger at a restaurant or one time when we went out for Chinese food for a friends birthday and shared orange chicken and he went to the bathroom to throw up a few minutes later. Duh, of course that has coloring in it - it was orange. That was a mom fail moment. Thankfully his body just rejects it now, he throws up and then he's fine. But man, I look back at all those years and all those tantrums and wonder how many of them might have been because of food dyes or may have been worse because of them. I'm just so grateful we figured out that this affects him so much and were able to cut it out of his diet. It's banned in a lot of countries so I don't even understand why it's still even allowed in this one. Nevertheless, we no longer ingest it. I don't either cause it's obviously not good for you. I wish I would have known sooner but I'm thankful I found out when I did and we could do something about it. It has made a world of difference!</span></b></div>
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-3380533284288400652017-03-28T08:19:00.002-05:002017-03-28T08:19:47.903-05:00Traumaversaries<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It has been a challenging week. It feels like it's been months but it's only been a week. I'm exhausted. he's exhausted. Our neighbors probably hate us for all the noise. For the love. Every single night we'd had major meltdowns at our house - except Saturday which was the day we went to Adventure Island and had a truly magical day that was a much welcome break from the other evenings we've had since last week. There was one mega one a few weeks ago in Nashville while on spring break and it seemed to come out of nowhere and truth be told, I did not handle it so well at first. Finally got myself under control and got creative and rode it out for 30 minutes or so and thankfully didn't have to cancel plans with a friend I really wanted to see and it was our only chance before coming back to FL. Last week the daily meltdowns started on Wednesday which is the night we attempted to do a book report assignment. I do not like homework. Especially for 2nd graders. Especially considering kids are at school all day long as it is. Not a fan. And that's one of many reasons I chose Montessori for my son - not a lot, if any, homework. It's usually optional and we most often opt out. This book report thing didn't sound optional. We read a Magic Treehouse book over break and finished it up the week after - he read some, I read some. We read every night at bedtime anyway so it wasn't difficult to work that in and we really enjoyed the story. We will continue with those books cause he and I are both liking those. That part was fine. But trying to create a shoebox diorama and have him write out some details from the story were like asking him to do 10 backflips in the living room or something. It got chaotic and traumatic fast. I did not handle it well. It doesn't seem to matter how many years have gone by or how many times I revisit a counselor - I have layers and layers of my own junk that keeps getting stirred up and I'm so tired of it. I just want the junk gone. But as much as I hate my junk and how those buttons get pushed - the more it reminds me that childhood stuff sticks with you for a lifetime. And healing takes a really long time. And our lives are going to be a journey of constantly unpacking that stuff. That's not to say healing doesn't happen cause I know I've experienced so much of it - but it takes time. It doesn't happen overnight and I don't know about you - but I want a quick fix. I want my stuff to be gone. And I want his stuff to be gone. And I want to have this magical, happy, perfect little environment where it's all sunshine and rainbows. But that's not reality. Trauma is hard. For me. For him. For all of us. Noises, smells, certain times of year - can all trigger our trauma. It seems like this time of year is a trigger for my sweet boy. I hear about traumaverseries a lot in the adoption world and I know birthdays are hard and his was just this past Sunday. I've been seeing old blog posts pop up on my time hop and started to realize this time of year - late March/early April is always a rough time at our house. I need to remember that and be more prepared next year. This year, I just wasn't.<br />
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It's crazy cause in the midst of a hard week of evening meltdowns, we've also had some seriously awesome, fun days. Maybe I'm tiring the kid out too much with so much fun activities. Maybe part of it is the time change cause let's be honest - we are all thrown off by the stupid time change. I read something that said there are more car accidents this time of year and I believe it. Why are we even still doing a time change? Anyway, back to my point. I think it's just a lot of things factoring into a really hard week. I'm trying to be consistent and figure out some discipline that is firm and teaches my son that he cannot be disrespectful and violent and make huge messes all over the house in a fit of rage without some kind of consequence. I want to teach him healthy ways to vent frustration and teach him to be respectful and use nice words. I'm trying to handle it in a connected way even though in that moment he doesn't seem to hear anything I say - and just keeps saying "you're mean" and "you always make it more worser". This parenting stuff is hard y'all. If you're a parent - you know.<br />
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I'm not going to go into too much detail beyond what I've already said because I don't want to embarrass my son when he gets older and could read these posts himself. The thing is - all kids have days like he's been having. But there's just so much to think about when trauma is involved. And there is something to certain times of year being a trigger for our kids. I'm thankful for praying friends that I can text and give a little bit of info to and I know they are praying for me and my sweet boy. I can feel those prayers. If you're reading this and you're a praying person - would greatly appreciate yours too. And if you're a trauma momma and going through a hard time too - don't isolate. Reach out to your friends and let them pray for you and help you. It really does make a difference. Especially if you're a single momma like I am. Because we don't have a spouse to bounce ideas off of or usually any other adult present that even sees what's going on to even know how to pray. This is where we need our village. I'm thankful for mine. </div>
Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-64257120589538666482017-02-19T14:23:00.000-06:002017-02-19T14:23:05.944-06:00Joy that comes from letting go<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This week I have felt especially joyful. I don't know exactly why this week moreso than other weeks but there's a whole combination of things that have led us to where we are right now. A lot of things that felt really really hard at the time but have proven to be so worth it just to get us here.<br />
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A lot of changes have happened in the 6 months. When the mortgage went up on our house and things just kept breaking and finances were super tight, I knew the Lord told me to sell the house. Though I was super sad at first, my outlook turned around quickly. What a huge blessing that I could have it under contract after only 2 days of showings and that I could make enough off of it after only owning it for a little over a year to be able to pay off a lot of debt. In the exact perfect timing we found this condo for a price that was literally the ideal price and what I thought would be unlikely to actually find. I was online at the exact moment that post went live and the first one to call on it. I only started my search 1 day prior and wouldn't have started any sooner cause I wanted to get through inspection and stuff first to make sure that other house offer was going to be solid before finding a place we liked cause I didn't want to sign a lease or move forward until I was sure the house sale was definite. The condo is in the exact development I was hoping for - with several friends down the street and tons and tons of kids for M to play with. We LOVE it here!!! Even more than I thought we would. It even has an extra bedroom so I can have my office as its own room which has seriously been a huge stress reliever. When we bought our other house and I said my office was in my bedroom - a friend told me there were studies that showed that having an office or work station in the same room you sleep causes stress. Once we moved here, I definitely noticed it was helping me have better boundaries to just close the door and not work so much in off hours. I'm the kind of person that gets stressed out if the house is a mess and I swear my desk/office area is never really very clean cause I just jump from one thing to the next to the next and can never quite totally get it all clean and keep it that way. So having it as a separate room and closing the door - and keeping the rest of the house picked up - also helps with stress.<br />
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Not owning a house is less stressful for sure. It rained really hard for the first time a few weeks ago and I realized my first response was to look up and see if there were any leaks or water coming in. After 10 years of home ownership (2 different houses), that was always my first thought when it rained. I had this sigh of relief come over me - if there was a leak - I would just call the landlord and I would not have to pay for that. I do want to own a house again someday but not until I have money saved so that when leaks or breaks happened, I would have money put away to pay for it and wouldn't have my first response be stress of how I would afford it. For now, renting is great with me.<br />
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I miss our dog like crazy. I still dream about her. Mihretu and I still talk about her daily. And we definitely did not want to say goodbye to her. Yet at the same time, the stress of those first few months and all the anxiety she had, my fear of leaving the house and not knowing what I would come home to, trying everything under the sun to help her adjust, and so on - it was really stressful and almost all consuming. We didn't want to go to the beach or Busch Gardens or really anywhere that involved us being gone longer than like an hour or two max. That's no way to live. And it certainly wasn't good for her - she was so stressed out and anxious. It was heartbreaking. I hated admitting it wasn't going to work. But I do believe that was the right decision for her and for us. And a huge amount of stress has lifted off.<br />
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I haven't really talked about this that much because I haven't even really known how to put it into words until now but my job was causing a lot of stress too. I take responsibility really seriously which I think is good in many ways but can also mean bad boundaries, overworking, stretching yourself way too thin and taking on more and more and more until you literally cannot take on anything else or you'll implode. Seriously, non profit work is rewarding and awesome and when you live and breath and believe in it - it really matters and when something matters, you pour yourself into it. Sometimes to the point where you pour out so much, you haven't taken time to fill back up. I hit that point late last summer. Burnout but aware enough to recognize it and to know that I needed to set better boundaries, speak up and try to get some help in areas that I was not especially wired to fill nor did I have any capacity or time to be able to fill. Last spring, we brought on Shelly as a fundraiser on a very part-time basis because fundraising is an area I just am simply not gifted or experienced in. I had no idea then that God would raise her up into a leadership position and place us side by side in leading GBLI into a new season and in turn providing some long needed relief for me and some great fresh direction for the organization. Shelly became the CEO Jan 1st of this year and boy am I grateful. I think this change was the biggest stress reliever of all in my life. Let me be clear that no one was piling work on me. I was doing it to myself. I'm not great at delegating, I'm just not. I've gotten better over the years but I'm more the "get it done" person so I have tended to just keep taking more and more on as I've seen a need in various areas. Also we only have so many resources to work with so it's not like you can always bring on all the staff you need to fill all the roles that need to be filled so it's pretty common for non profit staff to wear many hats. About 6 months ago, I started really evaluating how I'm wired and what brings me life and what doesn't. And it became very clear to me that I am more of an internal operations kind of person. I can be a visionary but I also am the "nuts and bolts of how that vision comes to life" person. Internal operations is a very different gifting than external relations. I like aspects of both but when I'm really running in how I'm wired, I thrive on making things work behind the scenes. I like spreadsheets and budgets and creating power points and checking things off my check list. I like updating the website and creating all of our design materials. I like trip coordination. I've handed Uganda coordination off to seriously 5 different people in the last 7 years and every single time, it ends up back on my plate. It just came back to me again and this time I'm thinking I'm not even going to try to hand it off. And as I've started to get back into it, I'm remembering how much I love trip coordination - it's very concrete and you can have a checklist and check everything off it for that week. You get to talk to prospective team members and interact more with team leaders and team members who just came home from a life-changing trip and I find that fuels me too. The things that Shelly is taking on and running with are all freeing me up to run with the things I like to do and are part of my updated job description. And I feel such a huge weight lifted off me. I'm still crazy busy but it's a different kind of busy. I feel revived and grateful. And I think a lot of the joy I'm feeling is because I'm no longer carrying more than what God wanted me to. And there is freedom in finally realizing that and admitting that and being willing to hand some stuff off.<br />
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So I'm sharing all this because I wonder who is reading this who might also be carrying more than you can handle well or more than you are really supposed to be trying to carry to begin with. I had gotten to a place financially and just from a stress standpoint that something or a lot of somethings had to give. For my sanity. For my health. For my joy, my parenting, and for my walk with the Lord. I just felt tired and burned out. And I cried out to Jesus. And one by one he stripped things off of me. Somedays it felt like a bad thing - like He was just taking things away from me. But I kept praying and seeking. I felt like He was saying "I know it feels like I'm taking things away but trust me and you'll see - it's going to be better. I'm trying to free you up so I can bring you joy and blessings." I get it now. And I trusted Him enough to believe Him then, even when I couldn't quite see it.<br />
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Reader - what is He asking you to trust Him for? or with? You might not be able to see it now but He does have a plan, and He is worthy of our trust. Always. I pray you will step out in faith to follow Him even in the hard. You won't regret it. </div>
Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-89813617421125698772016-12-28T11:42:00.000-06:002016-12-28T11:42:11.371-06:00A hard week<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been a hard week. I mentioned in my last post that our dog was not loving condo life. My son and I have loved the sense of community, kids to play with, friends to have movie nights with and hang out with everyday if we want to. I love not having yard work or the responsibility of home ownership, the cost of lawn care and having to do the pool chemicals myself. And having several other single moms on the street and taking turns watching each others kids. So regarding all that - we've loved it here so far. But our dog has not. And that has been very challenging and stressful for all of us.<br />
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At first it seemed ok. When we decided to move here, I had decided that I would make sure to take her every day to the dog park, no matter what. And I did exactly that. Our yard in TN was huge and she could run and chase squirrels and play. I thought when we bought the house here that the tiny yard would be a hard adjustment for her. It probably would have been if not for the dog park and the doggy door. We started going every day to the dog park so she could run and she had zero issues adjusting. She did great. She didn't destroy anything or seemed stressed when we left. No issues at all. The yard was fenced and she had a doggy door but the yard was tiny so she couldn't run or anything. But the dog park made it ok. And I think she really loved the doggy door and being able to go in and out whenever she wanted. Some days she'd go in and out like 50 times. I'd find her out there laying in the sun when I was working. Or chasing lizards. Or barking at squirrels. The dog park was only 5 blocks from our house so that was great too. When we sold the house and were looking to move to a condo, I truly underestimated how much the freedom of a doggy door and fenced yard had been for her. And I didn't even think about all the noises on the other sides of the walls and how that might freak her out. I thought it might at first but thought she'd get used to it. Just like she did with our loud neighbor at the last house who sometimes fired up his boat motor in the side yard. She got used to that pretty quickly. I work from home so I'm not gone that much. Our routine here in the condo was us all piling in the van every morning, dropping M off at school and then me and Elsa swinging by the dog park so she could run and chase squirrels and play while I walked laps with the other dog parents there. It was a routine. I would come home after that and work while she snoozed under my desk in her favorite little spot. I'd let her out for a walk a few times during the day and then I'd load her up in the van and take her with me to go get M from school. When she was home alone, which wasn't all that much, it was usually only for a few hours at the most. At first, she seemed ok when we were gone. But after about a week of living here, we came home to a chewed up bottom step. Our condo is on the 2nd floor so when you come in our private entrance you have a little landing at the bottom and then carpeted steps that go up. At first she was always waiting for us at the bottom of the steps and we had to be really careful cause she would try like crazy to slip out and run off anytime we went in or out. She got out a few times and had herself a little jog before returning back. She wasn't gone long and didn't go far. But I didn't want her to get loose like that for fear of her getting hit by a car or something. After that day she chewed the carpet, it just kept getting worse. I would load her kong up with peanut butter and treats so she'd have something to do. I got her a deer antler to chew on. She looked like she was preoccupied with the kongs when we left after a few weeks and sometimes didn't even come down to the bottom of the stairs to see us off. It looked like maybe she was adjusting. I was hopeful. She was focused on her peanut butter and seemed totally calm. But then we'd only be gone 45 min or so and would come home to chunks taken out of the door frame that you could tell she had been scratching at and my rug shredded or our shoes chewed up or more carpet destroyed. It was getting worse and worse. Even when I was home, she started acting anxious when she would hear noises. We got new neighbors upstairs next to us and they are pretty loud so I noticed an increase in the anxiety once they moved in.<br />
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When I first got Elsa, she was crate trained and liked the crate. I don't know what changed but at about 6 months old, she flipped out one day in the crate and completely chewed up the really hard plastic bottom of that thing which I didn't even know was possible and then chewed up the linoleum under that. I was shocked when I came home. The next time we left the house, we only left for like 20 minutes as a test and left her out of the crate. We came home to her lounging on the couch looking all content and we never crated her again. She never chewed anything up or destroyed anything or seemed stressed when we'd leave. Not at that house, not at the house in FL with the small yard, not the entire 3 years we've had her. Until this. After about 8 months in the house in FL, I started leaving the cover off the doggy door and then she had freedom to go in and out even when no one was home. She loved that and never tried to dig out or anything. But she loved that freedom.<br />
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Once all this stress and carpet chewing started happening here, I started trying to crate her again. I didn't want her to ingest any of what she was chewing and thought maybe she'd feel safer in the crate although I knew she didn't like it prior. I started out by putting it by my bed and putting her in there just at night. She wouldn't flip out if I was in the room with her but she would whine quite a bit and she would not lay down and relax. If I left the room, she'd panic and start barking and panting and scratching and trying to get out. High anxiety. I put her in there a few hours the first few nights and then did a whole night after that. She was next to my bed where I was sleeping but she did not lay down once the entire night to sleep. She was pretty quiet except for a little bit of whining off and on but was totally tired the next day due to zero sleep. She literally would not lay down in there. I didn't get much sleep either. I had to leave for 45 min that day so I tried crating her. I put a dark sheet over the top to make it den like and came home to it pulled through the crate and shredded. She was barking and panting and had high anxiety being in there. I imagine if I had left longer, I may have come home to a chewed up bottom again like years ago.<br />
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I tried something called Rescue Remedy - it's supposed to calm anxiety - you put a few drops on their treats or ears. I tried it both ways - it did nothing. I tried some chewable anxiety stuff prescribed by the vet that was quite expensive - it did nothing whatsoever. Over the course of 3 months, 3 entire steps were completely shredded, the door frame chewed and scratched up with chunks taken out, two rugs shredded, my shoes destroyed, my bedroom carpet chewed up and the sheet in the crate shredded.<br />
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I had been in touch with the organization I got her from for the past month or more communicating back and forth about all the things I was trying. It had gotten to the point where I was afraid to leave the house at all for fear of what I'd come home to and for not wanting her to be so stressed out every time we left. But we all know you have to leave the house sometimes and you can't take a dog with you everywhere you go.<br />
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Over the week of Christmas, after much prayer and thought about things I had tried or maybe could still try, I had the realization that this was not fair to Elsa and no amount of training was going to take away the noises on the other sides of the walls or the fact that she doesn't have a yard. She is a foxhound whippet mix - that's a hunter dog and a runner dog. She is not a condo dog. And we can't move right now. I made the very sad decision to take her back to TN to the rescue org to have them find her a new home. I should add that she had also lost 4 pounds over these 3 months. When I took her to the vet they let me know that. She was still eating normal so it was clearly stress. I don't want my sweet girl to be so stressed she's losing weight, and panicking whenever we leave. What kind of life is that for her? We love that dog. Mihretu adored her and she adored him. She was so great with him. I'd always find him hugging her or laying his head on her or her snuggling up next to him with her head on his lap. Other than when I was trying to crate her, she slept with me every night. She laid under my desk every day as I worked. She was the best dog. And was definitely happiest at the dog park where she was able to run and hunt and be free.<br />
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I thought we were going to drive her to TN this week but as it turned out one of the rescue organizations fosters was actually here in Sarasota and said she could take her for us. What a Godsend that was. That would have been a very long, depressing 12 hour drive. Plus Mihretu woke up Monday morning covered in itchy hives and a sore throat. I looked in there and he had white bumps all over so we headed to the clinic. He had scarlet fever - a strain of strep that can be pretty dangerous. So glad I took him in. He's on meds and has cream for the hives which are still itching off and on even a few days later. So very glad we did not have to drive 12 hours this week.<br />
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Yesterday was the day. We met up with the foster lady at 10 am and I gave her all of Elsa's treats and food and flea/tick meds and all her toys and every single thing of hers. They set up her crate in their SUV and put her blanket and pre-loaded kongs with treats and peanut butter that I had brought for her into the crate and then I hugged her tight and we both kissed her goodbye and she went in the crate and on her way to TN. She was licking peanut butter and looked content when we walked away. I sobbed like a baby. Mihretu wasn't sure what to even think of that. He was trying to be funny and just kept saying "you're STILL crying?" I couldn't stop. He hasn't cried but I know he is sad. There may be moments when it hits him and he cries. Last night, he kept saying "oh I just thought I saw Elsa." Or "I miss Elsa" or "it's weird without Elsa" or "I thought that Elsa was under that blanket". We had a sleepover with the neighbor kids here to try and make it a fun night and that helped a little but it's going to be weird and sad for awhile. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw her like 100 times. I went to get up from the table and looked down to make sure I wasn't going to step on her. The door bell rang and it was weird to not have her bark. It feels weird and wrong to not have her here.<br />
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That last night she slept with me and I woke up like 20 times to kiss her and pet her and tell her I loved her. I know dogs don't think the same way we do so I know she'll be ok. She will thrive in a home with a yard. She is not a condo dog. I wish I would have known that before we moved to one. I just didn't think it would be a big deal since I'd walk her and take her to the dog park and I work from home. I was wrong. We do really like it here but I certainly don't like that it resulted in this. It's so sad and I already miss her so much. It's going to take awhile to adjust for both of us.<br />
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In the meantime, the lady who took her has been so sweet and even sent me photos of her on the car ride and updating me on how she's doing. They made it safely last night to TN and she slept all night in the crate and did fine. It seems like the issue must have been more separation from us than the crate itself. But I don't really know. I'm just glad to hear she's doing well. I know the foster home will treat her well and that they'll find her an amazing permanent home and I'll be so happy to hear that she has a new family with a yard and she's doing well. I know she'll be ok. I know we'll be ok. I just miss her. Man I love that fur baby.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the first time we saw Elsa</td></tr>
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-482380360169803892016-12-12T15:00:00.004-06:002017-01-27T11:31:42.690-06:00The rest of the story<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So it's been a few months since I last posted and that post was all about how I felt God was calling me to sell our house in Florida. I was NOT excited about this idea at all initially. I cried. More than once. But whenever I prayed about it, I felt very clearly that the Lord told me to sell it. So I didn't delay. I listed it right away and began getting it ready for photos and showings and all that important but not so fun stuff that involved putting money in for some fixes to things I knew needed fixed and so on. Meanwhile, as I mentioned, the mortgage had increased and my van was having issues and needing repairs left and right and finances were honestly tighter than ever. I prayed and prayed that the house would sell fast and the stress would be minimal. Well guess what? It went under contract after only 2 days of showing it. 2 days!!! Crazy awesome, right? I was so happy. And I got what I had hoped to get from it. Praise the Lord.<br />
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Now the next 30+ days were pretty stressful with some drama I won't mention during the selling process, a whole bunch of extra costs involved in repairs I ended up having to do and a delay in closing that meant me having to borrow money from several very awesome and generous sources to get through one more week without those funds. But people helped me and reminded me of how God blesses us with community and how humbling it is when that community comes alongside to hold one another up. I'm so thankful. And the house did finally close and praise the Lord I was able to pay off a ton of debt with the very nice profit I made off that house. So thankful.<br />
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The really cool part of the story is the part about finding us a new place to live. I'll try to keep it short but there's a lot of fun little details I don't want to leave out so here goes...<br />
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So right after the house went under contract and had passed inspection and we had agreed on repairs and stuff, I started my search for a place for us to move. One day I set up appointments at a bunch of condos in the area and set out to start looking. Several were decent but didn't really jump out at me. One I really, really loved but the price was crazy high. Prices here are high enough but some of these places for rent were insane. I came home discouraged and frustrated.<br />
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The next morning I got up early and went in the prayer closet. Through tears, I was asking God to show me and to help us find a place that I would like, that would be a good fit for us and most of all in a price range we could even afford cause I surely didn't want to end up right back in a tight spot after all that. After I finished praying, I hopped on <a href="http://zillow.com/">zillow.com</a> to look again. I was reading listings and hiding ones I didn't like and searching some more. I kept zeroing in on the place where several of our friends live and refreshing the screen to look there. I also hopped on to other sites and cross checked to see if any other ones came up that weren't listed on the other sites. All of a sudden, when I hit refresh, a brand new listing popped up in the condos I was wanting and in the literally EXACT dollar amount I was hoping for but did not think we would find for a 3 bedroom condo. I picked up the phone and called right that moment. The lady who answered started laughing and said "I just posted that less than 2 minutes ago". Come to find out it was a 3 bedroom PLUS a loft. And the price was perfect. And it was in the same condo developments as two different friends of ours and that's where I was hoping to be all along. Especially since we already knew people and I already knew this place has a lot of families with kids and dogs.<br />
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So the story gets even crazier. I couldn't get in right away to see it cause the people still lived there. So it was going to be a few days and I was kind of worried someone else would snatch it up. I had come across a scam on craigslist - a place I had looked at the previous week was posted for way cheaper, using the same exact pictures but turns out it wasn't the owner at all. She was shocked when I told her I saw someone was using her pics and details to post on craigslist. When I did a test email to them to see what they said, of course they said someone had just backed out and I coudl be next on the list but had to fill out the online application and pay the deposit first. No way. I bet those people made a lot of money just doing that. Total scam. Anyway so I had just discovered that and didn't want to send any of my info through email or otherwise. But I wanted this leasing manager to know I was serious. I had her send me all the paperwork and was just going to bring it already filled out when I came to look at it. She mentioned she used to work at the main leasing office for these condos but now managed some of the units for individual owners. So I texted my friend Kait to see if she knew of her. Turns out she rents from her too. She totally knew her. She confirmed the email and phone number was indeed her and so I went ahead and sent her my stuff.<br />
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Monday I got to go see the place and loved it right away. Still can't believe it was the price it was. Total God thing and I know had I not been online at that exact moment it would have been taken cause it is awesome! This part of the story gets even more awesome - I'm serious!!!!<br />
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So I'm talking to the leasing manager and she says "I have to tell you - I wasn't so sure about you when I saw your application and it said you didn't have money in savings and you had debt and all that so I googled your name and I found your blog and read your story about selling your house and know I know the whole story and totally get it. And your faith is really inspiring." I'm standing there with my jaw down like "seriously!!! You read my blog and that cleared it all up and you're ok with renting to me because of that?" Wow, just wow. Talk about a God thing!!!! I'm still in shock about that. Just goes to show you never know who will read stuff you put on the internet - good or bad. Ha ha<br />
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Anyway, of course she also ran a credit check and all was good so we got the place. I felt the favor of the Lord over that whole thing and we were able to borrow some funds to get in here and then of course pay it back as soon as the house closed. We got moved in a few days before closing on the other house and other than our dog having a heck of a time adjusting which is a whole other story - we absolutely LOVE the place. And the part I love most is the sense of community. We literally hang out with my friend and her kids like 3 or more times every week. And through her we've met other people including another single mom with a little girl that we adore. And so we all 3 single moms and our kids hang out all the time. Our kids play outside. We take turns having each others kids over. It's something I've only ever dreamed of. I love, love, love it. Hopefully our fur baby will come around too cause she's not loving it just yet.<br />
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After all that and getting moved in and paying off debt - my van stranded us again. Actually on moving day - it was a crazy long, tiring day and I had picked m up from aftercare and the dog up from doggy daycare where she went during the day so she wouldn't run off in the move and our van died right there in the doggy place parking lot and we were the last ones there, even the workers had left. My friend from small group came to our rescue and sat with us in their car until the tow truck came which was like 9:20 at night. I think I was so exhausted and overheated because as we were sitting there, all of a sudden, I had to jump out of the car because I knew I was going to throw up. I sure did - like 10 times right there in the lawn of the doggy place on moving day with a dead van and waiting on a tow truck. That day was just crazy. But we got all moved and we got the van towed and I got it fixed the next week (and it wasn't cheap). Of course I found out a few weeks later that it needed another $1800 in repairs. Mind you, this van had stranded us at home twice and out away from home twice in the past 6 months (once in Tampa), was a 2002 with 180k miles and had begun having issue after issue and was literally worth hardly anything if I were to try and sell it. Finding out it needed another $1800 in repairs was the final straw. Thank God I sold the house and paid off all that debt or I would not have been able to get a different vehicle. But I had been obedient to what I felt like He told me today and so I was able to get a different vehicle. I got a used 2010 Dodge Caravan with 97,000 miles on it for a really great price at a place only a few miles away.<br />
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All that to say - I am SO glad I sold the house. I literally haven't even missed it. I've actually loved not having to take care of the pool or pay for the lawn to be mowed or worry about stuff breaking. And I LOVE the community we have here. Mihretu is doing amazing and loves it too. He has kids to play with whenever he wants and it's so lovely. And I'm thankful to be free from all that debt and to have been able to get a different vehicle. And that's the story on all that!!! God is good!!!</div>
Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-20102792862630528762016-09-01T16:48:00.000-05:002016-09-01T16:48:54.155-05:00Open Hands and Letting Go<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been 1 year and 3 months since we moved to Florida. We love living here. I especially love the year round sunshine, being near the beach, our church family and all the amazing friends we've made. I also really, really, really love our house. We have gotten much use of the guest room and the pool and all the closet space it has to offer. The location is great - close to his school and the dog park where we spend lots of our time. Close to the highway and most anything you could need. It has truly been a blessing and I'm so glad this is where we landed.<br />
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Here's something I didn't plan on though - putting the house up for sale less than 2 years into living here. But that's exactly what I'm doing. Why? Because sometimes God asks us to open our hands and let go of things, gently and lovingly reminding us that we need to trust Him and that He has a good plan. For me, I feel like that good plan is selling this house and paying off all of my debt and getting into a rental condo or house (will see what we find) and getting out from under the financial burden of owning a house. Sure owning a home can be a great investment but when something breaks like our AC did 3 months in or when you know the roof will need to be replaced in 2-3 years, and you just find yourself in over your head financially because you have debt and no savings toward those repairs, it's a good reminder that this so called American dream isn't really all it's cracked up to be. If you have savings and you can cover those kinds of things, great. But if you're like me and you don't - well I'm just in the place where quite frankly the stress of it all is not worth it. Because at the end of the day, we don't need to live here to be happy. We love this house but it's just a house. God will provide us a place to live. And if I can sell my house and make enough to pay off all my debt after owning it for only just over a year - sweet. And oh the freedom that will come with that will be more than worth it. Being in this place financially is causing a lot of stress and that overflows into life at home too which isn't fair to my kiddo. Plus it limits us from what we can go do and I'm all about adventures with my boy. A few months ago our mortgage went up almost $200 a month. It's a fixed rate loan but the taxes and insurance are built into the escrow and the taxes had been estimated really, really badly for year 1 and when the actual tax bill hit my escrow, it wasn't enough so the escrow went in the negative so I have to catch that up plus you have to have a surplus too so thus the huge increase and so I'm paying almost $200 a month to catch up for that first year. Anyway, all that to say, it's been tighter than usual since that happened. And ever since my AC died, the hot water heater died, the pool timer broke, paying for lawn care and pool chemicals and utilities being way higher than I expected plus $1000 in van repairs last month too. It's just tighter than I planned on, especially with the increase monthly. So... this is what led to me to try and come up with ideas to bring in some extra funds. It was a fun idea to do airbnb and I actually have it rented out this weekend for 2 nights and have gotten a ton of interest - it's a sweet way to make a good amount amount in a short amount of time. But as I prayed and prayed about it all, I really just heard so loudly and so clearly from the Lord that I needed to sell the house.<br />
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I am sad, don't get me wrong. I've had a few cry fests honestly. I really love this house. But I hear God saying "do you trust me?" and asking me to let go. I'm sure I will cry a few more times. But at the same time, I am excited to see what He has next for us. We've gotten connected lately with some new friends who live in a condo development nearby and a lot of the condo owners rent them out. We're hoping we could get in there or the condo's right next to those. Mihretu has already made a bunch of friends who live over there. They have a ton of families with young kids too. If a place opens up to live over that way in our price range for rent, there's a really nice community pool and clubhouse, a playground, a workout room even and they do allow dogs too. I won't have to pay for or do yard work (oh how I hate yard work), or pool maintenance, or have the responsible of paying to fix things when they break. That sounds so lovely. As does just not being so financially burdened. It's a lot more expensive to live here than I was prepared for. So while I didn't expect to move out of this house this soon, the plan has changed. And I'm embracing the new plan.<br />
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Why am I sharing all of this with you in a blog? Because I just want to be real. I think sometimes our lives look so perfect and polished on facebook and we feel like we can't be honest. You've probably already figured out by now that that's not how I roll. I hope to be real and hopefully in doing so, an encouragement to others who may have to give up something they love or make a hard decision or whatever it may be. I was trying to come up with all kinds of alternatives to not selling this lovely home - like listing it on airbnb. Not a bad idea at all but at the end of the day, I just had to put all my ideas aside and ask the Lord what He wanted me to do. And when I got in my prayer closet and just listened, I heard very clearly that I was to sell this house and let go. And that God would have good plans for us. And that we needed to trust Him. I continued to pray about it for several days just to make sure I heard right. Peace came in that decision and I know that this is what He's leading me to do. When I know God is telling me something, I go for it. I signed all the contracts a few days ago, have photos scheduled this week and have been rearranging, cleaning and "staging" it to get ready. Once the airbnb renters leave on labor day monday, I'll come home and clean and we'll list it the next day. I'm praying the Lord would send the right buyers that first week and that this home would be a blessing to whoever buys it, just like it has been to us. We've certainly loved it well and taken full advantage of all of its potential this past 1 year and 3 months. I'm sure there are things I will miss. I'm sure I will sob like a baby a few more times but I'm also sure that God is good and that we will do great wherever we end up too. And maybe, just maybe, He will have some new blessings waiting for us there that we didn't have here. Like lots of kids to play with for my little man. And possibly even some new friendships that a year from now I'll look back and think "I can't believe I didn't know this friend 1 year ago." I don't know all that God has in store. But I am excited to see.<br />
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Is there anything in your life that God is asking you to lay down? It may be hard but if He's asking you to do so, there is surely a good reason. In our obedience, we not only can walk in peace and the comfort of knowing He is faithful - we are oftentimes freed up from a lot of stress and burden we were carrying around unnecessarily in the first place. If that's speaking to any of you right now, seek Him and I encourage you to keep your hands open. Don't be afraid to let Him take some things you love. He can be trusted with all things.<br />
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-36732044997577988072016-08-29T08:57:00.001-05:002016-08-29T09:01:05.338-05:00Prayer, missions and school - an August update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I don't know what happened specifically but I know the last really hard night with lots of tears and melting down - I did some serious praying and battling against the enemy on behalf of my sweet boy. Something broke that night. Never underestimate the power of prayer. It is our weapon in a battle field spiritually. The enemy seeks to steal, kill and destroy. But we serve a God who is victorious. And when we pray like it, it is powerful.<br />
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Shortly after that night, we went on a mission trip to the Bahamas. A church invited Mihretu and I to go and though it was kind of short notice (just enough notice to get his passport expedited), we jumped in and said yes. I was nervous about how he might do but excited to find out. Y'all he did AMAZING!!! Better than I ever dreamed. We did a lot of exhausting travel every day back and forth between 3 islands and it was hot there. Really hot. He did not complain at all. He loved getting to be with all the kids at the children's home on the island where 10 of our 40 people team was staying. He loved being part of the vbs camp too. Not one meltdown. Not one issue. My boy rocked it. I was blown away. He even fell asleep each night next to me on a mattress on the floor in a big room with the lights on and all the ladies talking and didn't even have any trouble falling asleep like that. Probably cause he was so tired but still, I did not know how that would go but he rocked it. I am so proud of him. We can't wait to go back and I'm actually leading a trip there <a href="http://www.visitingorphans.org/mission_trips/events/bahamas/2017/06-10/bahamas-june-2017-leader-kerr">next June</a> and bringing him with me. It's a family focused trip so folks with kids 7 and up are welcome to join us, as are folks without kids:) It'll be a small team and we'll go spend time building relationships with the staff and kids at Zion Children's Home. It feels to us like we're going back to visit dear friends or family. They are absolutely precious and we can't wait to go back.<br />
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Another development or breakthrough has happened in the last few weeks. Mihretu started saying he missed school and actually wanted to go back. I was so happy because he didn't love it last year and I thought he'd be really sad to go back. So I was thrilled when he started saying he couldn't wait to go back. Last week was his first week. He did great. He said 2nd grade was easier than 1st grade and was so excited to get back into his "works" as they call them in Montessori school.<br />
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I'm so proud of my boy. The last 4-5 months he's just seemed to grow in maturity by leaps and bounds. He is such a helper too. He loves helping me clean or trim bushes or do yard or house work. Here's hoping that lasts into the teen years. It's really cool that he enjoys doing that kind of stuff and he does a really good job too. He helped me knock out some yard work this weekend in half the time. I hate yard work so I was all for that.<br />
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I'm so thankful I get to be his momma. He's a smart, funny, awesome kid. I can't imagine life without him.<br />
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-30184363929869221682016-04-13T08:52:00.000-05:002016-04-13T08:52:29.720-05:00Trauma meets ConnectionWe had a dear friend come visit and that was awesome but M also had one of the biggest meltdowns ever while she was here. She left Sunday but he's had a few more minor ones this week as well. I am happy to report that I have stayed calmed and focused on connecting for all of them, even the big one while my friend was here. This probably sounds weird but in a way it was nice to have someone else witness it cause most of the time it's just me and him and no one to understand what just happened or why that was so draining for both of us. Having another adult here was comforting. Knowing she was praying and texting encouragements to me from the guestroom she retreated to to give us space was so reassuring. I think doing moments like that alone is the hardest part about single parent adoption because it's very rare that someone else is there for that hard stuff. Even if she couldn't help, just knowing she was there and praying helped me so much.<br />
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I know I post about such meltdowns on facebook when they happen and I'm sure some people picture a type of meltdown like every single kid has. Sometimes it's exactly that. But other times it is kind of like that but way more. And it's not ever really about what it's about. It's deeper. It's trauma coming to the surface. It's that cry that sounds like a baby but it's a 7 year old. I can tell the difference between the regular I didn't get my way tantrum and the trauma meltdown and you probably could too if you had witnessed both. My adoptive parent friends know exactly what I'm talking about. It's just hard to explain until you experience it. It's not our children's fault. They are not being brats. You have to look beyond the surface of what it seems to be about and remind yourself of their early start in life and all they've been through and pull out all that you've learned - to walk with them and remember you are their advocate - you are for them, not against them. It is a process of healing and it is not easy. For our kids or for us as parents. I don't remember these things every single time but when it's the trauma meltdown, I tend to remember more because it's so obvious that it's that. And I find that I have a lot more grace and patience in those moments which is especially when my son needs it the most.<br />
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If you are reading this and you haven't adopted or fostered or worked with kids with trauma or been through that type of training or have experience helping kids through this kind of thing - please refrain from giving your adoptive parent friends advice on parenting, especially if they didn't ask you for such advice. It's just different. Be ok with that and be ok with knowing it's different and just being able to say "I'm praying for you" rather than trying to give advice or comparing it to your biological child or saying things like "that boy/girl just needs some good ole fashioned discipline". It's usually at home where our kids are most comfortable that these trauma meltdowns happen so you may never see one. But they do exist. And traditional parenting doesn't work. Please trust me on this one.<br />
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Having my friend here to watch that interaction between my son screaming and crying and me trying to get creative and try every form of distraction and connection I could even possibly think of and yet still watch the episode last 2 exhausting hours - reminded me that trauma is still there. I don't see it as much as I did in year 1 or 2, but it's still there. And I know all kids have meltdowns and all parenting is hard. But there is something about trauma that just wreaks havoc on our sweet kiddos and it's not a quick fix. You can't just love it away in a year or two or even 5. When a child goes without their basic needs met, it wires their brain a certain way and it takes a lot of time and connection to rewire it. When a child goes to bed hungry without food or water, it does something to their body. They may not remember it consciously but you better believe when they get the slightest bit hungry, their body remembers it. So when my kid wants a snack in the bed every single night and needs water next to the bed - you bet I put it there because the last thing he needs to worry about is if he'll get those basic needs met. There's just a lot you learn on this journey. And I'm still learning. I'm sure it's a never ending process of learning. So thankful for all the resources out there to help us along this journey. Ultimately my goal in sharing about it all - the good and the hard, is so that future adoptive parents won't be disillusioned about any of this. I don't feel that it does anybody - the families or the kids - any favors to sugar coat it. It's worth it 100% but it's still hard. And I want those future adoptive families to be ready for that and to have resources to arm yourselves with.<br />
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If you are praying about adopting or fostering - I highly recommend you learn the name Dr. Karyn Purvis and you dive into her research and teachings. I read Dr. Karyn Purvis' book "The Connected Child" and was able to attend the <a href="http://empoweredtoconnect.org/">Empowered to Connect Conference</a> based on those principles during my adoption process. I truly cannot imagine trying to parent my son without all that I've learned from this woman's teachings. They have video clips on the website and amazing resources. I cannot recommend these resources more. This woman and her teaching has been truly life giving. When I saw yesterday that she passed away at the young age of 66 after a valiant fight with cancer, I just couldn't help but cry. I didn't even personally know her or ever have the chance to meet her in person and yet I felt the depth of gratitude come over me in a wave of emotions for all the work this women did in her short life to encourage and equip adoptive families and to teach us that every child can heal.<br />
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I've always loved this quote from her:<br />
"I've never once met a child who can't come to deep levels of healing if you understand what they need." - Dr. Karyn Purvis<br />
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This woman left a legacy. I picture her standing before Jesus and hearing "well done good and faithful servant" and seeing her looking over her life and getting a glimpse at just how many families she impacted with her work. I wonder if she really truly knew earthside just how life giving her life and work was. Surely she knows now. Profound to think about. This past weekend the Empowered to Connect conference went on without her and I wasn't able to attend but I saw my fb feed blow up with life giving nuggets of wisdom. She clearly had a great team that will continue to carry out her legacy. And adoptive and foster families will benefit from this amazing teaching for many years to come. This momma is grateful. Oh so grateful.<br />
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Sure I feel like I failed 9 times out of 10 that first year when trauma would rear it's head a good 4-5 times every single day. I tried to sound like Karyn Purvis in the things I said and did and the ways I tried to walk my son through these meltdowns. It's taken time and practice and commitment to keep trying and to rewire my own brain to do this whole connected parenting thing cause it isn't the kind of parenting that would even come naturally. But wow does it work. When I can do it and stay calm and connect with my son - it really really works. It's amazing. So weary parent, if you're reading this and you feel like you're failing miserably at this - keep trying. It gets easier. It really does. Our kids are so worth it. You've got this.<br />
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<br />Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-42275794181307982542016-02-14T22:14:00.003-06:002016-02-14T22:14:53.192-06:00A Valentine's Day update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I haven't really blogged that much this year. Life gets busy but I do love going back and reading all the blogs I wrote in that first year and reflecting on how far we've come. Every once in awhile we have a really hard day that reminds me to be extra thankful for how many smooth days we have now. That first year was a lot of hard days but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Very glad we are on this side of it now. We had a great Valentine's Day today. We went to church and then went out to lunch and to the park with a new friend who is also a single momma. Our kiddos played great together while we got to have grown up conversation:) After that, we came home and took the dog to the dog park so she could get her daily sprint in. This dog runs and jumps like a deer. And has just discovered she can jump our 4 ft fence like 2 weeks ago so I get to spend my tax refund on getting a 6 ft fence put in to replace the 4 ft section. Thankfully most of the yard is already 6 foot so I don't have to have the entire thing done. She jumps it like it's nothing and then takes off running all over the neighborhood. She always comes back and if I chase her she goes farther. If I get in the car and open the side door, she'll almost always jump back in. I'm not too worried about her running away but I am worried about her getting hit by a car. So I haven't been able to just let her outside these past few weeks which really bums her out. And means a lot more visits to the dog park for me. After the dog park, we played outside for a bit. Mihretu decided to get part of the way in the freezing cold pool with his jeans on. He thought that was so fun. He tried to talk me into it but one foot in and I was a no go. It is like ice cubes in that pool. I can't complain about the weather here though - even though the pool got really cold, the weather has been awesome. I like Florida winters! Today was sunny and 75. I had on flip flops and a tank top. Here's a pic of me and M from the park. </div>
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After M went in the pool, he of course wanted a warm bath. Then we went for a walk and he rode his John Deere kid sized powered tractor while I walked the dog behind him. It makes for a noisy walk around the block but he loves it. Then he rode his bike and scooter up and down the driveway until dark. Then we came in and ate pizza while watching Star Wars Episode III and "staying up late" since there's no school tomorrow. I wanted to empty the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen and Mihretu asked me if he could help and said "it'll be faster if we help together" so he washed the dishes in the sink while I unloaded the dishwasher. I hope his helpful side stays. It's pretty great that he loves to help with this kind of stuff. And I must say he washes dishes a lot better than some adults I know:) He's a cool kiddo. Here's him washing the dishes.<br />
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At church today, they gave all the ladies a rose. As a single momma, I especially loved that because it wasn't like I was getting roses today otherwise. We just watched Beauty and the Beast this past week and I commented in the car jokingly to M that the rose looked like the one in that movie and then said "do you think I'll meet my future husband before the last petal falls?" and Mihretu being so quick witted and always with perfect comedic timing said "I think so. But I hope he's not a beast." I cracked up.<br />
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He is so stinkin funny. And quick as the responses. I can't wait to see (well I can wait cause time is going by too fast already) what he'll be like when he's an adult. I just know God has big plans for him. He's so funny, outspoken, brave and bold. Sometimes some of those things can make for embarrassing moments like the other day when he followed people around at our garage sale asking them if they were going to buy anything and if they had kids, etc. He's certainly not shy. And he is a little bit obsessed with money. Which I can't quite figure out how to handle cause I'm certainly not. But he just loves money. I'm happy to say we're finally out of the "making fake money on little pieces of cut up paper every single day" stage. But he was all about making huge piles of his toys and books to try and make money at the garage sale. And he was super upset when by 10 am he had only made $15. I thought $15 was a lot as a kid. Apparently not the case these days. He actually started crying. We had to have a little talk about being grateful and thankful for what we have. By the end, he made $30 which was quite a lot for a kid and we went to target so he could pick out something with it. He's kind of into something called Shopkins right now. He's got a lot of friends at school who like these and that's where he first heard about it. So he bought two different sets with his money and had 6 cents to spare. He was super happy. All in all the garage sale wasn't as successful as we hoped and I'm not sure if this neighborhood is great for them or what the deal was but we didn't have all that many people. It was a gorgeous day though to be outside and having a garage sure made it easier. We were able to set up a few days in advance a little at a time and that helped make it a lot less stressful the morning of.<br />
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We've had a busy weekend - moreso than usual. Tomorrow is President's Day so it's a long weekend. Here's hoping little man sleeps in a bit. Lately he has been sleeping till 7:30 or 8 which is light years difference from the first year or so when he was quite the early bird. He cracks me up sometimes when I come in at 6:30 to wake him up from school and he said "ah man, I want to sleep longer". I think we're both still adjusting to being on Eastern time. I hadn't been on this time zone for 13 years. Amazing how much of a difference 1 hour can make. And then the time change thing - I'm always messed up for weeks after that. And oh goody, it's almost spring and we get to change it again. When are they ever going to just do away with the silliness that is "daylight savings time". I'm over it.<br />
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We get to go visit Nashville in March. I have to go for work cause we're having our annual leader training there since it's the best central location for leaders from all over. And we currently have 2 staff there, 2 of us in Florida and 1 in Alabama. I'm excited to go and see everyone, visit our old church and actually we're having the training in one of the buildings of that church. I am starting to prepare that this trip might be emotional for me and Mihretu. I had a really hard time with the whole missing our church thing for the first 6 months or so of being here. I didn't realize how much of an attachment I had to that place I had been part of for 12 years until I left. I miss all of my friends there too but I stay in touch with them and the last year and a half prior to moving, I had felt pretty disconnected and didn't see people nearly as much as I once did. It seemed like everyone's lives got crazy busy, a bunch of people who had always gone to that church left and I felt pretty isolated. In hindsight, I think it all helped prepare me to be able to leave and I'm thankful for that. But I've been surprised at how easy it has been to pick up life here and settle in. Especially once we found a church. I loved Nashville and literally never thought I'd ever ever leave. So the fact that I did leave and haven't been an emotional wreck about it has been a total God thing. However, I do think some emotion is going to hit me when I go back for the first time since leaving. And I suspect it will for M too. He's had weeks that have been hard and where he talks a lot about missing our other home and his old school and our old church and friends. He talks about the house the most and our friends bought it so we will actually go there when we visit which I am preparing will likely be hard for him but also hopefully provide closure as well. Praying for that especially. I think it makes sense that it would be hard on him since that was our first home together as a family and change is hard for kids anyway, especially kids who've experienced all he has in his short life. He's done amazingly well even though I know he's had some big feelings about the move. He does like it here and he really loved it when it was warm enough to swim every single day and go to the beach every weekend. It'll be back to those temps soon enough. He likes his school a lot now but at first he had a hard time cause 1st grade requires a lot more of him than K did and his teachers here expect a lot from him. He's doing great though and making tons of friends. Whenever we go to a birthday party or school function and I tell another parent who my child is - seriously every single time they say "oh Mihretu - my son/daughter talks about him all the time". He's that kid that makes everyone laugh and is a little social butterfly. The little girls especially love him. Who can blame them?<br />
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My best friend from high school moved here the same time we did and lives about an hour and a half away. We meet up with her family a lot at the beach or Busch Gardens and that has been a huge blessing and surprise. That wasn't even on the radar when we decided to move here so I've loved that. My friend Deb also lives about 45 min away and that's been nice. And I have a step grandma about 40 min away and some family friends about 25 min away so it's definitely nice to know you have people nearby that you already know and that was something I did not have when I first moved to Nashville in 2002 when I literally knew not even 1 person prior. I even just this past weekend got to know my neighbors a little bit more when they invited us over for the Super Bowl party. And that was a Godsend cause I was feeling really sad that day cause I didn't know anyone having one and always went to one in TN. So that was neat that they saw us outside and invited us over. I've started making some really great new friends here - ones that you can't imagine not knowing just a few short months ago. One of them is Jessica and she also now works with me. She's my friend I get to be silly with. Sometimes working for a non profit can be hard and laughter is the best medicine of all. Not everyone gets my dorky sense of humor but Jessica does and that's been really fun. And we started attending a small group right before Christmas that just resumed last week and I've been really enjoying getting to know these folks from church more. And have even gotten to know the pastor and his wife quite a bit already. I really love this church and just the genuineness of everyone there. Really great people that you just feel like really care and want to get to know you. You don't find that everywhere. I'm thankful. And Mihretu loves it and gets so excited everytime we go. He especially loves that two other little boys his age from Ethiopia are also there. I am grateful for how God is connecting us in our new location and looking forward to seeing what else He has for us here as time goes on.<br />
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Well, that's the update on us for now. I'm going to get to sleep just in case M doesn't sleep in tomorrow:)<br />
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-65807563953119336432015-11-03T17:10:00.001-06:002015-11-03T17:10:55.444-06:00War Room & Answered Prayers<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We found a church! Literally the next Sunday (Oct 4) after I posted the previous blog about searching for a church - we found the one. My friend Ashlie whom I know through Visiting Orphans and who took some totally awesome pictures of Mihretu and I last month - invited us to her church. I had planned to go someplace else that weekend but decided to go to their church instead. One of her sons is from Ethiopia and when we got there there was another family I had met at a foster care event a few months back whose son is the same age as Mihretu and also Ethiopian. They go there too. Mihretu bonded instantly with their son. He really bonds on a whole other level with other kiddos from Ethiopia. He loved it so much, the following Saturday he started crying when he found out there was no church because it wasn't Sunday. I loved the worship and the message and just the small feel of it. It meets in a YMCA and is relatively new (Jan 2015) and there's about 30-40 people right now which is really nice. It's a Calvary Chapel church which I hadn't ever been to but have heard good things about. Loving it so much. The worship that first weekend - they played so many songs that my Nashville church used to play and the style was so similar. I just started crying. It just felt like our place. So I can move "finding a church" from the "praying for" to the "answered prayer" wall in my War Room. If you haven't seen that movie, it's great. And the main character is basically mentored by an older lady who shows her what a war room is and she creates one at home in her closet. I did that a few weeks ago and there's just something special about going into a closet and praying in there. I love it so much. Thankful to have a space I can do that. If you don't have a war room, I highly recommend creating one.<br />
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I'm so thankful we found our church home. Looking forward to connecting more with the other folks there. I'm in an adoption small group for 3 more weeks (another answer to prayer) and when that finishes, I'm planning to check out the small group in my area for our new church.<br />
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Here are some of those amazing pics my friend Ashlie Fulmer took of me and my little man. I love these so much.<br />
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-29868181290424430972015-09-29T08:30:00.001-05:002015-09-29T08:41:04.790-05:00Still searching for our FL church home<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Moving to another state is hard sometimes. Most days I just go about my business and keep moving forward. But some days it just hits me like a brick wall - so many things we left behind in Tennessee - wonderful, life-giving things. Like all of our amazing friends. Like Mihretu's school. Like our house that we loved so much on the dead end next to the field where we would see deer and coyotes. Miss that place. And our church - Belmont Church on music row - where I found my first ever church home and where I invested 12 years of my life. The same church that I had a fundraiser concert at to bring Mihretu home and sold handmade items and Just Love coffee and paintings at the Christmas marketplace to help bring him home. The same place that welcomed him home with open arms and where he was dedicated and loved on week after week. The place where I grew from someone incredibly lost and broken to a daughter of the most high King. So much healing and growth happened there. Nashville is pretty transient so a lot of friends have come and gone from that church and that city over the years and that was hard - to connect with amazing friends and then watch them move away. But I still had that place to go to every week that was familiar and felt like home. Where there were many, many familiar faces always - people who had been going there or even working there for over 20 years. Long before I came there. That place has part of my heart. And today I saw a post from someone there with exciting news and I was so happy for them but the sadness immediately sunk in cause I'm not there to share in that excitement or all the life happening there. Or to walk into that place this Sunday and hear the most amazing musicians playing the most beautiful worship music in the world, seeing people I know filling the room and praising God with their whole hearts. I miss that place so much.<br />
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I fully believe God has a church home for us here and it will be great. We just haven't found it yet. We've been to something like 11 churches since we've moved here. Mihretu has been such a trooper about going into the kids areas at each one all by himself as I head into grown up church all by myself. He's gotten to the point where he comes out afterwards and gives me his version of a critique of how it was:) Every time we try a new one I have this hope that this could be it. And then I walk out feeling blah about it afterwards. I'm trying not to have expectations of what it will be like but I feel like I'll know when I find it. I just hope it's soon.<br />
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In the meantime, there's this awesome local ministry called Bridge A Life that does all kinds of great things for adoptive and foster families - parents night out with free childcare, picnics, meals for adoptive and foster families, moms night out and so on. I love this ministry. Anyway, last week I was on a prayer call with a friend and sharing how my biggest prayer is just to get connected to a community. We prayed for a church home and a small group and I had said "I would love it if there was a small group just for adoptive families." And what do you know - 20 minutes after we prayed that, an email went out from Bridge A Life saying a new small group was starting for adoptive families. Praise the Lord - this is awesome. It's at a local church and there's childcare so the kids will get to have fun while the adults have our group time. We went to that church for parents night out last weekend and then also tried it on Sunday and Mihretu loved it. So I am happy to know he will be excited to go there on Wed nights. Not sure if that's our church home but at least we can start connecting to other adoptive families on Wed nights there. And I think these families are coming from all different churches so perhaps we'll even get connected to one through another family. I know God will show us where we are supposed to be. I know we are supposed to be here. Just some days are hard and emotional thinking about the wonderful things we left behind. God is faithful. Can't wait to share with y'all how He provides a church home cause I know He will.<br />
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-25787187544027514952015-09-25T15:57:00.000-05:002019-07-12T18:13:23.747-05:00Our story - chapter 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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A Visiting Orphans team member wanted to chat with me this week to hear my adoption story. As I was sharing with her this morning, she asked me if I had this written down and I realized I have it written in segments in many blog posts but not all in one post. So I'm going to put it all together in one story here. God has been so faithful in this journey and I am a big believer that we should share our stories with others to remember what God has done, to encourage them and to be reminded that He is faithful and can be trusted. So I'm going to share our adoption story here, in one blog post. It's just chapter 1 cause our story is still being written. But it's a good first chapter with God's faithfulness weaved all throughout. I can't wait to see what the next chapter holds. </div>
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I had been praying about adopting for many years but honestly wrestled with the fact that I wasn't yet married. I kept thinking I would just have to wait until I was married and that was the order things should happen. I started working for Visiting Orphans in 2009 just a few weeks shy of turning 35. As I traveled and loved on kids - many of whom were in orphanages - the desire to adopt grew even stronger. In May of 2011, our whole staff traveled to Kentucky to attend the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit. This was my first time attending this amazing conference and I've been back all but 1 year since. At that conference, one of the speakers gave us an assignment to ask God how He sees us and we were all given a blank piece of paper. I felt like he said "mother" and I just sobbed like a baby when I heard that. Just a few months prior, on Christmas morning of 2010, I woke up to a blanket of snow covering the Nashville ground. I got excited like a kid at the moment I saw it but my excitement quickly turned to sadness because there was no one there to share this excitement. I felt this strange and very strong sense that morning that a little one was missing from my home and my life. That is the first time I'd ever felt that "someone is missing" feeling. I began praying hard about adopting as a single - going back and forth with God asking whether I was getting ahead of His timing if I went for it, and then asking if I was holding too tightly to my own ideas of the order I thought things should happen if I didn't go for it. I always wanted to be mom to a little boy from Ethiopia but as I began researching, the agencies I knew of didn't allow singles to adopt from there. I started to think Ethiopia as a country didn't allow single adoption. I looked into other countries, thought about domestic adoption and just kept praying God would show me. I just never felt sure one way or another and always Ethiopia was in the back of my mind and in my heart. I attended some webinars over the next few months and learned more about country programs for certain agencies and got lots of discouraging comments from agency staff about how "single adoption is not our preference but we do sometimes work with singles". You can read more on that topic over on <a href="http://mysingleadoption.blogspot.com/2014/10/what-makes-me-mad.html">this blog post</a> I wrote called "What Makes Me Mad". During this time, I also came across another blog that really encouraged me called "Should A Single Woman Adopt"- you can read this amazing blog post <a href="http://www.linnysaunders.com/2009/08/should-single-woman-adopt.html">here</a>. By the time that CAFO Summit happened, I was wrecked and ready to adopt as a single but still didn't know which agency to use, which country, where exactly to start. I was scheduled to lead a Ghana/Uganda combo trip July 2011 and about a month prior when we were working on flights, I emailed my team of 29 people and told them that even though VO had been to Ghana before, for some reason, nothing was coming together for this trip to happen. Contacts weren't responding, the flights were way higher than expected, it just wasn't feeling right. So I told them we could do Uganda only or we could still do 2 countries and do Ethiopia and Uganda. All 29 people picked Ethiopia and Uganda. I remember saying multiple times on conference calls that God must be going to do something amazing in Ethiopia because it was truly remarkable that 29 people would all agree on a schedule change like that. We visited Uganda first and had an incredible week there. Then we headed to Ethiopia. Several days into the trip, on July 24, 2011 - we were serving at an orphanage and that's when my life changed forever. I walked into a room full of babies and toddlers and my team was already all holding kiddos. I walked around the room and looked at all the photos above the cribs of each child and I saw this little boys picture and the words above his photo said "available". I did a quick scan of the room for him and found him. One of my team members was holding him. He wasn't making a fuss about being held but he wasn't totally comfortable either. He was looking around like "what in the world are all these people doing here?" Patricia who was holding him said "Do you want to hold him?" and I of course said "sure". She handed him to me and his posture completely shifted. He instantly melted into my arms like he was home. And I was in love in that very moment. I had loved on lots of kids but this was different. It was such a sweet moment that I closed my eyes to just take it all in. Not knowing that my team member Ashley was snapping a photo at that very moment from across the room. This photo, this moment. Be still my heart. This is when I became a mother.</div>
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I didn't put him down the whole time we were there. He sat on my lap and snuggled up as we listened to stories from an American missionary who had moved there to help these kids. Later, he fell asleep in my arms. I didn't want to put him down. And he didn't want me to either. He got very mad when I did. I thought he was sound asleep and I was doing it so gently that he wouldn't wake up. Nope. He knew. He woke up and he was mad. The nannies told me he was "ornery". I thought to myself "I would be too if I didn't have my own mommy to hold me whenever I wanted". As I was holding him that day, the missionary came up to me and said "he's available". I was surprised. I just thought the photo above his bed hadn't been updated and surely this kiddo had a family in process for him. Nope. He didn't. "But I'm single" was my next response. Her reply was "That doesn't matter. There's a lady upstairs visiting her child that she's adopting and she's single." And I just stood there with my mind racing. Maybe I could really adopt a little boy from Ethiopia... as a single. So I talked to the lady who was there and she told me what agency she was using. I found out several others with kids from there were also using that agency. I took down the name of that agency. I was trying so hard to guard my heart and not get my hopes up because I know that most of the time you cannot adopt children you meet on mission trips and there was no telling what obstacles could come up or what might be going on behind the scenes. Maybe he was being adopted and these girls just didn't know that yet. Maybe they wouldn't allow me to adopt him. Maybe it wouldn't work out at all. But maybe it would. </div>
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I tried to play it cool but my team was asking me questions that night at the guest house and encouraging me to pursue this. They could all see that we had a connection and I told them I had already been praying about adopting. I was still just feeling bad about not having a two parent family to offer this child. One of my team members said to me "Why don't you just move forward and ask God to either open or close doors?" And that's what I did. We went back the next day to visit again and I took a zillion pictures and videos, thinking to myself "if this does work out - I'm going to want this day documented". So glad I did! </div>
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As soon as we landed in DC, there was a sense of urgency to pursue this. I started looking for agency contact info from the airport before my next flight. The next day, I contacted that agency. They were pretty discouraging about the possibility of me getting to adopt him and the whole trying to do a pre-identified adoption thing but there was a tiny bit of a maybe so I created this blog and wrote <a href="http://mysingleadoption.blogspot.com/2011/07/im-over-it.html">my very first blog post</a>. 2 days later, I had already started fundraising and had talked to a home study agency to get started. I didn't know if I could really adopt him but I knew I had to try and ultimately trust God with the outcome. On August 2nd I found out that the original agency would not work with me at all - they didn't even plan to work with that orphanage anymore. I was discouraged big time. I had found this out during the work day and a co-worker told me about a different past team member of hers that was adopting an older boy from the same orphanage and gave me her contact info to find out who she used. I emailed them immediately and within 30 minutes they called me. The conversation went something like this:</div>
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Agency guy: We got your email and would love to help you.</div>
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Me: But I'm single.</div>
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Agency guy: That's ok. We work with singles all the time. If the director will work with us and if this child is truly available and not already in process, we would be happy to help you adopt him.</div>
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Me: Wow, really?</div>
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Agency guy: Yes. We will send our guy over tomorrow to talk to the director and find out. If she agrees and we proceed, are you able to pay the initial agency fee of $5500? </div>
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Me: Um, yes, I will start fundraising today. </div>
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The next day, I got an email with photos of Mihretu and a message that asked me if this was indeed the right child and if so, letting me know that he was available to be adopted and the director would work with us. Did I want to proceed? Holy cow - YES!!! This is happening. Talk about open doors and fast ones at that. </div>
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By August 4th, I had already raised $900 which covered half of my home study! I turned into a fundraising machine. I did an <a href="http://mysingleadoption.blogspot.com/2011/08/and-winner-is.html">ipad giveaway</a> and raised $10,000 in less than a month. I did a garage sale, a reunion concert with my old band, sold items I bought overseas, sold t-shirts, sold necklace designs that I created and my coworker put together, did a drawing for a painting and so on. Like I said, fundraising machine. As each payment was due for the home study, fingerprinting, agency fee, dossier, country fee, etc - the funds were already there to cover it. God blessed my socks off through so many people who came alongside me and donated and prayed and helped bring my little guy home.</div>
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On August 6, 2011 - less than 2 weeks from the day we first met - a contract was signed on my behalf between my agency and the orphanage for me to adopt him. Talk about amazing! </div>
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So the beginning of the process moved crazy fast, and then the movement stopped... for quite awhile. I think for almost 9 months there was no update other than "his paperwork still isn't done". The director at that orphanage was not in any hurry to finish his paperwork and I began hearing stories of lots of adoptions held up by this same person. Not good. To know a child could have a family and begin life with that family and yet to keep them in an orphanage for even a moment longer than they needed to be - horrible, unthinkable. So hard to wait and have no control over. All I could do was pray. And I did lots of that. My coworkers prayed with me. So many friends around the world prayed. And one team in May of 2012 broke something in the spiritual realm when they went to war on behalf of those kids, praying over every child and caregiver. I seriously am forever grateful to that team that my coworker Merrill led that May. I feel like they prayed my boy home. </div>
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I think it was May or June, we had a team leader back out from leading a Uganda trip and I didn't want to send the co-leader on her own when she hadn't led before. And it was a big team of 24 so I said I'd lead with her since no movement was happening for quite some time in the adoption and the trip was coming up quickly (July). My coworker Alicia reminded me that our flights to Uganda stop in Ethiopia and so of course I needed to stay after the team left and visit my little guy. I began praying specifically that he would be moved out of that orphanage and into my agencies care center by the time I went because this would mean his paperwork was finally done and we were actually moving forward. Part of me still wondered if it would ever happen and if I truly would be able to bring this little boy home at all. I kept praying. Right after Merrill's team was there in May, we found out the director fled the country and that was truly a Godsend. A board member came in, took over and said they would finish Mihretu's and several other kids paperwork. Literally the day I left for the airport to lead the Uganda team, I got the phone call. Mihretu's paperwork was done and he had just been moved to my agencies care center the night before. I could not believe the timing. Holy cow - I was going to be there in less than 2 weeks and was heading to Uganda and there was finally movement! Praise the Lord!!! I was beyond overjoyed. I think I was almost in shock at the craziness and awesomeness of God's timing. So I got on that plane and I did the best I could to lead that Uganda team well even though the whole time I just could not stop thinking about getting to Ethiopia to be with my boy. As I was in Uganda, I started hearing talk about court dates and emailed my agency to see if I could even possibly get assigned a date within a week or two. They said it was possible. What the what? I could maybe have court while I was there - and I wouldn't even have to make a whole separate trip? I started praying. </div>
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I was reunited with Mihretu on August 1, 2012 - just a little bit over 1 year since we first met. Photographer and friend Wynne Elder came along and took these precious photos of our reunion. Elisa Hyman (my Uganda co-leader who is now one of my closest friends) took video which I have yet to figure out how to get onto my computer. I was so nervous that morning. Would he want anything to do with me? I knew he wouldn't remember me but would he like me this time? So nervous. I remember feeling like I was in a dream. A surreal dream. </div>
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The nannies told him "your mommy is here" and he walked over to me and let me pick him up. He didn't seem scared but he clearly was confused about what was going on. He just stared at me a lot. He discovered my necklace with his picture on it and thought that was pretty fascinating. And then he snuggled up. And as active as I was soon to find out he was, that day he was just a little snuggle bug. He literally snuggled with me all day long. He fell asleep in my arms and I just held him for hours. It was amazing. Everything I had hoped and dreamed and more. After a year of waiting and almost 9 months of no movement at all - I was here with my boy and he was really in my arms. Thank you Jesus. </div>
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I was only going to stay for a few days but when I found out court was even a remote possibility, I changed my flight home and delayed my return a bit longer. I didn't end up getting an official court date but I called my agency guy in country and asked if I could go to court and ask the judge if she would see me since I was there. He said sure and clearly hadn't even thought of that idea till I brought it up. On Monday, August 6th - we went to the court and waited for all the families with appointments to finish and then my agency guy went in and asked the judge if she would do my parental interview since I was in country. She agreed. Praise the Lord!!!! I did my interview and my part of court was done. There was one more document she needed before I could officially pass court and she gave my agency till Friday to get it. I flew home the next day and on Friday, August 10th, I got the email - I passed court!!! The agency director told me he had never seen the whole "parental interview ahead of time thing" ever happen. It was a first but certainly a wonderful first. Yes indeed. It was prayers answered. </div>
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Now that I had passed court, some big funds were due for the country fee and my return trip to go get my son once I got Embassy clearance. I must add here that leaving after court was ridiculously hard and the process of two trips and getting a week with your child and then having to leave the country without them is incredibly difficult. Nothing about it feels right. It's an awful feeling to have to leave your child behind and go home without them. But I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel. </div>
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On August 25th, I got a letter from Show Hope telling me I would receive a really significant adoption grant. Between that grant and the fundraising that had already happened since returning home, I was pretty much fully funded. Money would not keep me from being able to go get my boy the moment they told me I could come. My friends threw me an amazing baby shower, as did the VO staff. This was happening! Here's an overview of the fast moving timeline and financial due dates. God provided miraculously through so many amazing people!</div>
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8/31/12 Mihretu's passport is here! 1 more step before Embassy - his medical exam next week!</div>
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8/28/12 MOWA approval letter received - 1 step closer!</div>
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8/25/12 Got a letter in the mail from Show Hope. I am receiving a grant which means I'm pretty much fully funded!!!</div>
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8/23/12 Got Mihretu's birth certificate!!! (mailed a check to my agency for $10,000 for the Ethiopia country fee)</div>
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8/13/12 The court decree arrives in record time!</div>
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8/10/12 After being back in the states since Wed, I get the word that I have officially passed court and I'm legally Mihretu's momma!</div>
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8/6/12 The judge agrees and does my parental interview for court while I'm in Ethiopia! (paid $230 for Mihretu's visa while I was there)</div>
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8/1/12 See my boy for the first time in a year!!!</div>
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And then there was that "wait there's more" moment when some friends who still remain anonymous donated money toward me getting a minivan. You can read more about that <a href="http://mysingleadoption.blogspot.com/2012/09/blessed-beyond-my-comprehension.html">here </a>but let's just say I was blown away. Almost $30,000 raised to bring my son home and friends are giving even more to bless me with a minivan. I was and still am, completely blown away. </div>
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And then the long awaited most glorious wonderful email of all arrived at 2:23 am on Tuesday, October 22, 2012. Subject line said: Case is cleared; request for visa interview. I hit reply to request my first 3 choices of appointment. By the time I woke up at 7:20 am - I had word that I got my first choice. My visa appointment was scheduled for the next Monday, Oct 29th at 9am in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. The amazing travel agent we use for VO got to work on booking my flights and my amazing friend (and co-worker at the time) Merrill came with me and we got on a plane only 3 days later to go get that boy!!! We arrived in Ethiopia Saturday evening. We went first thing Sunday morning to visit Mihretu's sweet grandma about an hour outside of Addis and that was a treasured meeting. Got some cherished photos that are now part of Mihretu's "Story of Me" book I made him. That afternoon, we headed to the care center and I picked up my boy knowing I would never have to leave there without him again. Our family day was Sunday, October 28, 2012. Merrill took these photos of the moment I saw him again after 3 months.</div>
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We stayed at the care center for a few hours so he would have time to get comfortable with me before we left there with him. And then we left and rode in a car with no car seat - it's Ethiopia y'all! And we started our journey together as a family and had all kinds of firsts those first few days. First time rocking him to sleep, first night sleeping next to each other, first morning together, first dinner, lunch, breakfast together, first bath and so on. </div>
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Looking back now, it almost feels like a dream. It was all so unfamiliar for both of us. We jumped into this new journey together and many days that first year were hard and rocky and filled with just simply learning each other. I didn't do nearly as well as a mommy as I hoped I would right out of the gate. His trauma stirred up my past trauma and sometimes we were just getting through the day. But other times, many other times, we were being silly and laughing and having adventures together. That first year seems like a blur now almost. I'm so glad I blogged so much so I can look back and see God's faithfulness and how He pulled us through. And oh how much healing He has brought in both of our lives. Mine in areas I didn't even know I still needed healing. Mihretu is the most amazing kid ever. He's smart and completely hilarious. He has perfect comedic timing and he's pretty strong willed too. I remind myself in those strong willed frustrating moments that he's a future leader and that's a good thing. He really is a future leader. He's going to do amazing things. I am pretty sure he's going to be a world changer. I love watching him grow and learn and thrive. He's creative and outspoken and loves to make people laugh. He's social and friendly and always up for a new adventure. Moving to Florida a few months ago was a big change for both of us and sometimes we miss Nashville, our church, our friends and his school there. But every day we are settling in to life here more and more, making new friends and having new adventures. We swim in our pool almost every single day. We got to the beach most weekends. We get to have get togethers with my best friend who now lives in Tampa - we've been friends over 20 years and they just moved to FL the same time we did. How cool is that? We start a small group next week for adoptive families and that is an answer to prayer. I am super excited about that. We still haven't settled on a church home yet although we've tried quite a few and have gone to some several times thinking that might be it. I think we'll know when we find the right one. Super thankful we can go ahead and start in a small group though while we search. We celebrate 3 years as a family next month. In some ways, time has flown by - in other ways, it seems like we've always been together. I can't imagine life without this little guy. I am truly a blessed momma. I am thankful for God's faithful and all the amazingness of our journey. It's just the first chapter of our story. And I love this story. Mihretu is praying for a brother, a sister and a baby so pray for me cause the prayers of a child are powerful and I don't know that I'm ready for all that... yet. ha ha </div>
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-61694373001845855142015-06-16T12:25:00.002-05:002015-06-16T12:29:09.854-05:00Our new homeWe've been living in Florida in our new home for just over 3 weeks now. In so many ways, it feels like we've been here a lot longer than that. For one, our house is all situated, stuff is unpacked and put away, pictures and decor are hung and it just feels like home. For two, unlike when I moved to Nashville and didn't know anyone - we do know some folks here which has helped a lot. We've been getting great use of our pool - we swim pretty much every night after M gets home from camp and sometimes on the weekends, we go in several times in a day. Saturday mornings we've been getting up and taking the dog to the dog park that's only a mile away and then heading to the beach for a few hours. This past Saturday, we discovered a dog beach and took Elsa with us. She wouldn't go near the water but she loved playing with the other dogs and roaming free on the beach. She did great - didn't try to run off or anything. She'd wander down a bit but then come back. She didn't go far. I think we will have to go there more often. We love our house and have already started having some friends over. My best friend since high school just moved an hour away a few weeks ago so we get to see her and the kiddos tonight and I am so thrilled about that and the fact that we are only 1 hour away from each other now. What a surprise awesome bonus! Didn't even know that God had that in the works when we decided to move here.<br />
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Mihretu has started saying that he misses our other house just this week. I miss our church and our friends the most. We've tried out 3 churches so far and haven't found the right fit yet. He's been a total trooper about it. This week he came out and said "I didn't like that one. Let's try another one next week." I've been so amazed at how well he's adjusted to our new home and new everything. He was so scared and nervous that first day at camp - I cried as I drove away cause I felt so bad about throwing him into a new place after just moving a week prior. But when I picked him up he was all smiles and told me all about his day and the friends he made. So proud of my brave boy. And oh my, so proud of how well he is swimming. He's like a little fish. Everyday he swims farther and gets more adventurous. This weekend, he saw me do a handstand in the water and then told me he was going to do it and sure enough, he did. He can swim the entire length of the pool with only one breath in the middle now. And he can now swim down to the bottom to grab something and bring it back up. I stand amazed.<br />
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We are loving our house and the warm, sunny weather. And I'm so thankful that we have some friends here - my friend Deb lives about 40 minutes away so we've gotten to meet in the middle several times and that's been awesome. And I've been connecting with some past VO team members who live nearby and have gotten together with a few and have plans to do so with a few others and that's so neat. Also a friend who stayed with me when I first bought my house in TN facebooked me like a week ago that she lives here now too so they came over last weekend. How fun!!!! So thankful for having some friends here already and making more. A sweet lady at the dog park told me about a great lawn guy and I called him and he's been cutting our lawn and is also a handyman so he installed our two chandeliers for us. So thankful for that connection. Got to meet his wife and son last week too and they live nearby so hopefully we'll get together with them soon. I love getting connected. I know we will get even moreso connected once we find our church home. Praying we find the right one soon.<br />
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Here's a few pictures of our new home and some of our adventures here so far!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The car ride down - we were packed in like sardines. I could barely move my right arm. Elsa did great considering it was her first car ride over 30 minutes and Mihretu did amazing as always. He's my little road trip buddy. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hanging out at the dog park:)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Saturday morning beach fun!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWNrfm2KTm2x-XHdixsrR5l440yieVZ3RgetLKHjmhPG5LvlrLFgEarVaxH59Ul5nM0JtqJXpuwEKCog45JSqyqxbnM_j_OE810XZcQWN6vE6JeJMETJGzUzDRVGlnxx06NJseP8hwafw/s1600/2015-05-30+16.56.41.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWNrfm2KTm2x-XHdixsrR5l440yieVZ3RgetLKHjmhPG5LvlrLFgEarVaxH59Ul5nM0JtqJXpuwEKCog45JSqyqxbnM_j_OE810XZcQWN6vE6JeJMETJGzUzDRVGlnxx06NJseP8hwafw/s320/2015-05-30+16.56.41.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love how his room came out and the fact that his tree with all the names of folks <br />
who donated to help bring him home was able to come to our new home with us!</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilhGlZpPBE88mIzjeNCI8h1cRgsgojlLPxvVx4kVQG0q19FIKovBSNxMW1rBsLUakZ-7WPHo_hIZ8uhM_734CCuks_e3uo4dq46b70ar7u1xTp1n2QXg1CvrMDhRE-RKADk4gyzhHgbjQ/s1600/2015-05-29+19.49.22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilhGlZpPBE88mIzjeNCI8h1cRgsgojlLPxvVx4kVQG0q19FIKovBSNxMW1rBsLUakZ-7WPHo_hIZ8uhM_734CCuks_e3uo4dq46b70ar7u1xTp1n2QXg1CvrMDhRE-RKADk4gyzhHgbjQ/s320/2015-05-29+19.49.22.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There's a beach nearby that has a praise band on the beach every Friday night <br />
so we went to hear that at sunset a few weeks ago. Gorgeous!</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP0bvVyTERUCAYYfE1v9BGwdRjvmIYUntMg-IM24RLZi5geM3opRAPh_BT2AaWbQsVWVRQYSN3kiDg5_HOSlOz0-9W2dqF0T_rGVwm034DLGGoXxxoj7o_58STdjeM_lM8W7ZZ_JbZz-A/s1600/2015-05-26+07.33.32.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP0bvVyTERUCAYYfE1v9BGwdRjvmIYUntMg-IM24RLZi5geM3opRAPh_BT2AaWbQsVWVRQYSN3kiDg5_HOSlOz0-9W2dqF0T_rGVwm034DLGGoXxxoj7o_58STdjeM_lM8W7ZZ_JbZz-A/s320/2015-05-26+07.33.32.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Best view around right there. Love my babies. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRoNSdrI_oosYiTTYg85NGVmAO9gNXxHcskbY_cWkL2nGkCE1-1kQZWOzltBgkKfmt_l-7M1BlHQgIZHLem7JlBRMncQ5NNBskbl77UJ-Qy39i2nv8D8EL-hheOWt_8gTHI-0_vgjEDYU/s1600/2015-06-02+12.53.37.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRoNSdrI_oosYiTTYg85NGVmAO9gNXxHcskbY_cWkL2nGkCE1-1kQZWOzltBgkKfmt_l-7M1BlHQgIZHLem7JlBRMncQ5NNBskbl77UJ-Qy39i2nv8D8EL-hheOWt_8gTHI-0_vgjEDYU/s320/2015-06-02+12.53.37.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Got a chandelier installed - we got the same exact one that we had in our TN home which was Mihretu's idea. <br />
Loving our little dining room/living room combo open room. </td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI7H2RKtdsphHkkyuceTcmr8H6KKNlmv6XT9-izu3KVfzA_mPFrnD2l6qXRo9OS8RQMpSoqvAFCOqYs3egiVVRaZsjKE1WXxSpy_Exk-cvr0FR2Ohpkm7jLxgoDSIsDcEn56RIOYrm5PA/s1600/2015-05-26+17.54.52.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI7H2RKtdsphHkkyuceTcmr8H6KKNlmv6XT9-izu3KVfzA_mPFrnD2l6qXRo9OS8RQMpSoqvAFCOqYs3egiVVRaZsjKE1WXxSpy_Exk-cvr0FR2Ohpkm7jLxgoDSIsDcEn56RIOYrm5PA/s320/2015-05-26+17.54.52.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My little fish swimming in our pool. </td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqP6ic-fYF3TC-L8RmiQ2vuAFJy8pwHDMhM06wI0lMuXpfpJlwmzsy3WjWjt4SxQQvOW8aFUyGya25UDH51OV9QClJSNJqPcilHtGLRNt4lzfHDr7Hx06amhqDTbK4ZiqbDmpgI8C1TBs/s1600/2015-05-28+12.21.16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqP6ic-fYF3TC-L8RmiQ2vuAFJy8pwHDMhM06wI0lMuXpfpJlwmzsy3WjWjt4SxQQvOW8aFUyGya25UDH51OV9QClJSNJqPcilHtGLRNt4lzfHDr7Hx06amhqDTbK4ZiqbDmpgI8C1TBs/s320/2015-05-28+12.21.16.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">more beach adventures</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwvj2uzsevTZTvGAnI-EHoaLf4lue0XDENN91L5VoMAGHSGE4Czv3Qb2gDWhv-pnOxcLqbnJWxXNB9Hhl74KL1wBb6EFp_pkzMAcKhsUnGK0yQxU9PYghft8NLVaAi5WS5bYdJAN6p6_4/s1600/2015-06-08+10.17.18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwvj2uzsevTZTvGAnI-EHoaLf4lue0XDENN91L5VoMAGHSGE4Czv3Qb2gDWhv-pnOxcLqbnJWxXNB9Hhl74KL1wBb6EFp_pkzMAcKhsUnGK0yQxU9PYghft8NLVaAi5WS5bYdJAN6p6_4/s320/2015-06-08+10.17.18.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My room was the last to finish - but got it done last week. <br />
Loving my home office with a view of the pool out the window. </td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2JJhqgLPLfDfAeMXRBCyDeQ4YP_hEKL81GhIwhiov97Rn4N9xyb_Tr33qdsnEC6a9Xgham4pYS20oGebUE03oPJbzLxaaWp3wmRo9my-sWeVwXKM0a0djC5D3gyFhoe-5hikKz_QCKfA/s1600/2015-06-02+12.57.55.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2JJhqgLPLfDfAeMXRBCyDeQ4YP_hEKL81GhIwhiov97Rn4N9xyb_Tr33qdsnEC6a9Xgham4pYS20oGebUE03oPJbzLxaaWp3wmRo9my-sWeVwXKM0a0djC5D3gyFhoe-5hikKz_QCKfA/s320/2015-06-02+12.57.55.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The guest room is all ready for our dear friends and family to come visit. My friend Samantha already has <span style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">a flight booked to come in October. So excited about that!</span></td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdDsVOFWHWf4_wwioFQ7LgitFoiKf3BWhhoKCms7jtUHsyvyDEs3iA1aMfPT3tQo-DdrZFv8CyOQ-5kabssghR5lduEWtQvUBuZ7GaPJG2uEntzMV0ltiAYzyDrLN641WlEdiFshm0dw/s1600/2015-06-02+12.57.00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdDsVOFWHWf4_wwioFQ7LgitFoiKf3BWhhoKCms7jtUHsyvyDEs3iA1aMfPT3tQo-DdrZFv8CyOQ-5kabssghR5lduEWtQvUBuZ7GaPJG2uEntzMV0ltiAYzyDrLN641WlEdiFshm0dw/s320/2015-06-02+12.57.00.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Living area</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFePspASW5uAHh_fr5T4fYJhIK_WBuzBszuI3BHQFRL3ZVE9_J4Sz3wqDHLX-zKfU-vVpNeYqjijfn_2E8DghOdIFsZ5xcVD6EB_gxNqMCUJc36on90hk6cgPdGaU3qMQFERFbdTNZLJ4/s1600/2015-06-02+12.56.51.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFePspASW5uAHh_fr5T4fYJhIK_WBuzBszuI3BHQFRL3ZVE9_J4Sz3wqDHLX-zKfU-vVpNeYqjijfn_2E8DghOdIFsZ5xcVD6EB_gxNqMCUJc36on90hk6cgPdGaU3qMQFERFbdTNZLJ4/s320/2015-06-02+12.56.51.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another little spot in the living area</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglpUJD8hJwtqU6tMAWFpz0YR7GMq8xJAo6NDxQZxi5FSxZttuuN1IwcbkfsVCkkx7Gd-HHIaMMQ8Z1AH3ZyAtce0Qg3YxMBprKPiK_eiTwLw1HmuLOXjlFbqEnF0I0oe-u-JPtWvxIQi4/s1600/2015-06-02+12.56.44.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglpUJD8hJwtqU6tMAWFpz0YR7GMq8xJAo6NDxQZxi5FSxZttuuN1IwcbkfsVCkkx7Gd-HHIaMMQ8Z1AH3ZyAtce0Qg3YxMBprKPiK_eiTwLw1HmuLOXjlFbqEnF0I0oe-u-JPtWvxIQi4/s320/2015-06-02+12.56.44.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love this spot with those awesome pictures that I had printed on canvas above the chair</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH3dSZQk55iHH6xirGKQabO1bGrCgCBHOy5psX022hYS2erz_bhc2GKjvR-0MyCP8kgg7rV5joP1UyEKYvOLgGCzR48TO3-wE_ekUaotjs70LTlHfIqfKhPae8y4R8J21_-dGmh2WOpzU/s1600/2015-05-27+14.00.58.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH3dSZQk55iHH6xirGKQabO1bGrCgCBHOy5psX022hYS2erz_bhc2GKjvR-0MyCP8kgg7rV5joP1UyEKYvOLgGCzR48TO3-wE_ekUaotjs70LTlHfIqfKhPae8y4R8J21_-dGmh2WOpzU/s320/2015-05-27+14.00.58.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We've been having lots of fun using our diving masks</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQycDdrvRnmzJI8E8ntkqBRo9r-6MkxMiAE2UcuZ0AdpMQ7rlif3FyxoKjUgidBAj5fA2AQP3lByUo0q5-3SDiLtE7AaK2tmxadakxJ5E8QbsVRYlFLNRZ69o_p2PnLSR69Xl6V33dc_w/s1600/2015-05-29+19.38.50.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQycDdrvRnmzJI8E8ntkqBRo9r-6MkxMiAE2UcuZ0AdpMQ7rlif3FyxoKjUgidBAj5fA2AQP3lByUo0q5-3SDiLtE7AaK2tmxadakxJ5E8QbsVRYlFLNRZ69o_p2PnLSR69Xl6V33dc_w/s320/2015-05-29+19.38.50.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love the joy I see in him when we are at the beach!</td></tr>
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<br />Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-2943810180591616972015-05-09T13:23:00.000-05:002015-05-09T13:23:20.450-05:00Making the big move!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Gosh, I just hopped over here and realized I haven't posted anything since our big snow storm. Lots has happened since then. Biggest thing is - we're moving to Florida in 2 weeks. Time has flown by, things have fallen into place and we are super excited. And also sad too cause we will miss our friends here in TN so much. Here's a timeline of how quickly things have come together for this move, although I have been praying about it for quite some time.<br />
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In Feb, the VO Board of directors approved my request to relocate to Sarasota, FL and keep my same job. Since I work from home remotely anyway and we already have staff in several states, wasn't much of a change as far as the job goes and they approved the request.<br />
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Later in Feb, Mihretu got into a Montessori Charter school in Sarasota which was a huge praise! He's in Montessori private school now and has been since he first came home from Ethiopia so the idea of keeping him in the Montessori environment has always been top choice for me. To get into a public/charter school is a huge praise cause hello - public school is free!!!! And as a bonus - this school goes all the way through high school which I've never even heard of in TN. So excited he got in.<br />
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Eary March - our house went under contract. It sold without even putting it on the market. We closed on it 2 weeks ago and are renting it back until we move. A family from church with 3 adopted kids are buying it. How awesome is that?<br />
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Mid March - We flew to FL over Mihretu's spring break and spent 3 full days house hunting. We saw like 20 houses and boy was that stressful. But we found one that we love and it's only 7 miles from M's school and it has a pool. Woo hoo! We are excited about that! We close on that in a week through the mail and then will be able to get right in when we drive down May 24th. Woo hoo. Here's a photo of the pool which is our fav part!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmwCZ4JLiSQlwJzDcrbAcq33_-gj0EbLSx-ghqa-y1QhgKRhR-bkkFNE1BfYWvW-gYBBVGLD1DLYpdPUPgoP3rWV0d4y5XR80AJK6cASNXzDIK4zwxDAR_kcnWxTIjkgrLTCaWqvzR3Ew/s1600/2015-04-04+14.24.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmwCZ4JLiSQlwJzDcrbAcq33_-gj0EbLSx-ghqa-y1QhgKRhR-bkkFNE1BfYWvW-gYBBVGLD1DLYpdPUPgoP3rWV0d4y5XR80AJK6cASNXzDIK4zwxDAR_kcnWxTIjkgrLTCaWqvzR3Ew/s320/2015-04-04+14.24.12.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
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Mihretu is enrolled in a YMCA summer camp for the summer which is exciting. I know he will have a ball. It even has a waterpark. That boy loves water so I'm pretty sure he's going to transition to life in FL quite well.<br />
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So excited to be close to my friend Deb and my step-grandma and some other friends who are like extended family, as well as some new friends I've connected with who are past VO team members who live in that area. Also have already gotten connected with quite a few adoptive families with Ethiopian kiddos. There's even a ministry there that has a moms night out once a month just for adoptive and foster moms. How awesome is that?<br />
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I'm feeling a little under the weather right now with allergies in full force and my sinuses feeling quite unpleasant but I've still got a lot to do so I press on. Would appreciate prayers just for this to pass quickly so I can get back to full speed ahead on packing and preparing everything to get moved.<br />
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Will update again soon once we get down there. Sarasota, here we come!!!<br />
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-2305047958731141932015-02-17T16:07:00.001-06:002015-02-17T16:07:31.103-06:00Snowpocalypse 2015Well, we got a big ole ice storm two nights ago and have been snowed in since. I'm working as much as I can (I work from home anyway) while trying to keep little man entertained. We've had some fun outside in what looks like a scene out of the movie Frozen! We went sledding yesterday with our neighbors who let us use their sled. Today we went sledding with a laundry basket - well, Mihretu did. I just watched and cheered him on. We also took a walk and he rode down some little hills in his red and yellow car. And then we got cold and tired so we came inside and warmed up! We've played a lot of rounds of Uno, Sequence and a number of other games, including Mario Kart on the Wii. We've watched a lot of movies. It's funny, I had no idea last Friday when I bought 8 movies from McKays used bookstore how very much those new movies would be needed during snowpocalypse 2015:)<br />
I'm also very glad we just went grocery shopping Saturday. Although I really wish I had gotten some chocolate cause I'm craving that! and I could really go for a burger or some taco's. ha ha Joking (but not joking) Funny how everything sounds good when you know you can't get out to go get anything. I'm certainly not willing to venture out in a road that is covered in ice to get food when we have plenty of food here.<br />
Here's hoping it warms up soon so this will melt. But looking at the weather forecast, it sure doesn't look promising.<br />
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<br />Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-76732186135441843842015-01-31T15:46:00.002-06:002015-01-31T15:46:40.419-06:00Tantrum CityWell, I was just recently reading back some of my blog posts about how happy I was that we were past that initial hard season and everything was so happy and fun now. I am still a relatively new momma - 2 years in - and I am learning that you're never really over the hard seasons. You get through one and enter another and if you have a few months in between, you're extremely lucky:) We just had a few months of awesome and now we are right back in the hard. The tantrum screaming crying about everything season. I don't know if it's winter or what. But he's not listening, he's being sassy and disrespectful and every single thing I ask him to do - he will argue or throw a fit about. It is wearing me down, I tell ya. Big time. And sometimes I'm super calm and patient in those moments and other times I am not. Parenting is hard stuff.Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-78735050949575741452014-12-07T15:52:00.001-06:002014-12-10T09:42:23.633-06:00Paintings I've done<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I finished a few paintings recently to get ready for the Christmas Marketplace at my church. The prints are now available for order on the blog <a href="http://mysingleadoption.blogspot.com/p/painting-prints-for-sale.html">Paintings for Sale tab here</a>. I sold a few of the originals at church this morning which was really exciting. I'm also going to start making tree paintings for adoptive families like the one I did for Mihretu with all the names of those who donated to help bring him home on all the leaves. If you or someone you know would be interested in that, those prices are on that page too!<br />
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-43407610595844055262014-11-03T15:24:00.002-06:002014-11-03T15:24:47.925-06:00Happy 2 Year Gotcha DayWe just celebrated our 2 Year Gotcha Day last week on October 28th. November 1st was the day two years ago when we arrived exhausted into the Nashville airport and Mihretu spent his first night at home. The first days and weeks were so surreal. Looking back now, it almost feels like a dream. Jet lag, language barriers, getting to know one another and so much that was unfamiliar - I am truly amazed at how well my little guy did in those early days. And so very thankful for how well he's doing now, 2 years later. Life is SO much easier now. There's an understanding and a knowing between us now that we just didn't have back then - we were in essence strangers who jumped into a new life together - one that was completely different than life previously for both of us. Survival mode - it wasn't always pretty or fun but we made it through and now we are on the other side - the side that is joyous and comfortable and fun. Not always easy because parenthood simply isn't easy. But SO much easier than those early days together. I am so thankful that in this great big world, God put us together on that July day in 2011 at an orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. In a room filled with babies and toddlers, one little boy stole my heart. And he is now and forever a part of me. Beyond thankful!<div>
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Here are some photos from last week which was Gotcha Day and Halloween week. Mihretu got to go trick or treating for the first time - he had so much fun! He was a UPS guy for Halloween and I was a package. We had so much fun with that. On Friday, he didn't have school so we went to the UPS station and waited 30 minutes for access to one of the trucks so Mihretu could see what it was like to be in one! </div>
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-45160913215531685602014-10-12T15:35:00.001-05:002015-09-29T10:47:50.092-05:00What makes me mad...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Ok so I'm a peacemaker and you will rarely ever find me posting or sharing anything controversial on my facebook page or even on my blog. But something is really bothering me lately and I feel like I have to write about it because I know I can't be the only one.<br />
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What makes me mad is this...<br />
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The fact that it seems like much of the world out there thinks choosing to adopt as a single is a bad thing.<br />
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Why do I think this is the case?<br />
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Because myself and people I know who are prayerfully considering adopting as a single have gotten comments such as the following (which I will comment on one by one below):<br />
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<i><span style="color: white;">1. "Kids need a dad." </span></i><br />
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<i>2. "Really? You're going to adopt as a single? Is that really fair to the child?"</i></span><br />
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<i>3. "Are you sure you can handle that? I can't imagine parenting without my spouse. It's going to be so hard. I don't think you realize..." </i></span><br />
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<i>4. "Have you really prayed about this?"</i></span><br />
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<i>5. "Are you sure you're not just getting ahead of God's timing? </i><i>Maybe you should wait to get married first."</i></span><br />
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And the list goes on. When you're on the "single" side of the conversation - it feels very isolating, very much like a couples world and very much like you're being judged all because you don't happen to be married. Being single is not a disease. It's not a sign that something is wrong with you. I have a whole bunch of amazing single friends that I honestly don't know why some awesome guy has not scooped them up and married them yet. Seriously strong, Godly, smart, successful, amazing woman. All single. Just like me. And we're all living life and we're just as happy, sometimes moreso, than our married friends. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SINGLE!!!!<br />
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And you know what, in regards to that list above - none of y'all are asking any questions that I guarantee most of us singles praying about adoption haven't already wrestled through ourselves. Many of us, wrestled through for years and years and years.<br />
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In most cases, it's not even like we are choosing to be single. We just haven't met the right person yet. And we're not willing to just run off and marry some Joe Schmoe just so we can have a family or our kid can have a dad. That would be a whole lot crazier in my opinion than adopting as a single.<br />
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So here's my response to the list above and don't misunderstand - I'm not saying everyone thinks this way about single adoption. I have been blessed to have amazingly supportive people in my life who have definitely not made me feel like being a single parent is a bad thing at all. But I also have gotten, at one point or another, all of the responses above from various people - most of whom are Christians. Not all of which were even married themselves but nevertheless couldn't fathom the idea that I would become a mom as a SINGLE!<br />
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1) I wholeheartedly agree that having a dad is ideal for a kid. A good dad. A loving dad. An involved dad. A dad that is also a good husband. And you know what - there's a whole heck of a lot of kids in the world that have a dad but they don't resemble any of those things I just mentioned. Being a dad or a mom for that matter is about a lot more than biology or a piece of paper saying so. And I would honestly truly rather stay single and parent my son as a single mom for the rest of my life rather than marry someone who won't be the very best dad to him (notice I didn't say perfect). Yes, I pray for him to someday have an amazing, dedicated, loving earthly father in his life - but if he never does, God is still faithful. God is still His father - the only father any of us will ever have that will truly be perfect and never let us down. And I know He will equip my son with everything he needs. And He'll equip me with everything I need to raise him as a.... single mom.<br />
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2) Is it fair to a child to be adopted by a single mom? Wow - that's an interesting question really. Is it fair to a child to not be able to be cared for by their birth family? Heck no! Is it fair to a child to be thrust into institutionalization because of circumstances beyond their control? No way. Is it fair to leave a child in an orphanage with the possibility of never being adopted if you knew of a truly loving single woman who would gladly bring this child into her family and love him and raise him? Yeah, you get my point. I think this question is frankly ridiculous. Maybe cause I work in orphan care and I've met hundreds and hundreds of children all over the world who very well may never have a mom or a dad to tuck them in at night. It's heartbreaking. Maybe it's because I know there are an estimated 163 or so Million children who are orphaned by at least one parent. Yeah, when you know all that - it seems to me there really is no argument for not supporting or cheering on any woman who is able to be a great mom but might just not be married yet.<br />
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3) Just because married couples can't fathom parenting as a single does not mean that a single cannot do it. It may mean that they need a different type of support system than married folks do. It may mean they don't get as many breaks or they might not have the option of homeschooling or various other things that some of our couple friends are choosing. But it doesn't mean it can't work. And you know - when people ask me if it's hard being a single mom - I honestly don't know how to respond because I've never been a married mom so I have nothing to compare it to. I think we make it work and God give us grace and people around us to make it a whole lot easier. But at the end of the day, it's hard, just like parenting is hard for our couple friends.<br />
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4) Did I pray about it? My thoughts when I was asked those questions were - are you kidding me? I sure hope anyone who is adopting, whether single or married, has prayed long and hard about the decision. It's not something you just wake up one morning and decide to do. And even if your initial decision was on a whim - all the paperwork and fees and classes and scary attachment and trauma stuff you learn about along the way would be sure to scare off anyone who isn't serious about doing this or feel completely sure that God called them to do this. I prayed about it for several years - not wanting to get ahead of God's timing but also not wanting to hold so tightly to the idea of family in my mind that I would miss something else He might have for me. I just kept praying until I was sure. Christmas morning 2010, I woke up and had the very distinct feeling that someone was missing from my home. A little someone. A child. I had wanted to become a mom for many years but I never ever had felt like literally someone was missing from my home and my life until that morning. The next 7 months, I prayed non-stop about adopting as a single. I asked God to show me where, how, when. I attended webinars by adoption agencies, talked to tons of people, researched online, and so on. And then I went on a trip in July 2011 where I picked up a little boy in an orphanage in Ethiopia and felt like the missing piece of the puzzle had been placed in my arms. Turns out, it had. Once I knew, God flung the doors wide open. It wasn't crazy fast or even easy and there were never any guarantees but I just knew if this was truly a God ordained thing - He would work it out to get that little guy home. 15 months later, He did. And my life is so much more rich with that little boy in it. It's been hard and I've come face to face with my own brokenness and junk but not for one second do I think that it was a mistake or I somehow heard God wrong.<br />
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5) I could have waited to see if I was going to get married. But then again, I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for oh, you know, like over 20 years. I'm almost 40 (39 next month). I honestly could care less if I ever have biological children cause I've always wanted to adopt anyway so it wasn't necessarily a time clock ticking kind of thing. But it was and is a "hey I'd like to be young enough to be active and do things with my child" kind of thing. And honestly, I have no guarantee that I'll ever get married. And while I surely hope someday I will - if I never do, that's ok. I like my life. I like the things God is doing in it. And I really love being a mom. I'm glad I didn't wait to be a mom because I wouldn't have gotten to be this child's mom and I totally, fully believe that God puts families together and it is very apparent to me that He did so with this one. My son is SO my son! I can't imagine us being more perfectly suited to be a family if we were biologically related. I'm serious. He's my kid through and through. And it's awesome.<br />
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When I was praying about adopting, I was very discouraged specifically by some adoption agencies. One in particular literally said "well, we do sometimes work with singles but it's not our preference". I think I caught the lady off guard when my first reaction was this "well, it's not my preference to still be single at age 37, but I haven't met the right person yet so there ya have it." She laughed awkwardly and then I think she realized how ridiculous that comment was. It was hard not to get discouraged by feeling like adoption agencies and people all around were thinking it was not a good idea to adopt as a single. When I really wrestled through all the arguments against it and realized none of them were really good reasons to not give a child a loving home, then I was able to move forward without worrying about what other people were thinking. But I had to come to that place within myself and with God - the place where I knew I could provide a loving, stable home for a child and that I could do it as a single.<br />
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I really hope that adoption agencies and the church as a whole begins to embrace singles who adopt. I don't believe every single should adopt, just like I don't believe every couple should adopt. But I do believe God calls families to adoption - and that includes some single parent families. I am very passionate about changing the stigma that seems to be around singles and adoption. Instead of discouraging people from becoming single adoptive parents, let's pray for them, let's support them, let's surround them with community and love and help.<br />
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-61640069756434281222014-09-14T17:00:00.001-05:002014-09-14T17:00:17.586-05:00This Time of YearIt's been scorching hot in Tennessee for several months. But yesterday and today feel like fall. There's a cool breeze and it's just perfect out. This time of year reminds me of 2 years ago around this time when I was preparing to bring my son home, waiting on the glorious email that said "you've cleared embassy - you may come get your son". It didn't say that exactly but that was what it meant. The email came at 2:17 am on October 23, 2012. It was the best email I've ever gotten with the biggest life-changing news of my life. <div>
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The smells in the air, the cool breeze, even the fact that it's getting dark earlier - it has all just taken on new wonderfulness these past few years. This year, even moreso because of all the junk of my own and Mihretu's that is out of the way and all the joy in our home now. We've both come so far. My healing, his healing. God is good. All the time! </div>
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Mihretu and I have so much fun together. I still mess up and sometimes I have to apologize. He still has his moments and meltdowns. He still pushes my buttons, although I have far less buttons to push than I did 9 months ago thank the Lord! But man, now it feels like we're in a groove. A sense of normalcy. A sense of thriving. Not just surviving. We've gotten to know each other now. I just never thought much in advance about how long it might take to get to know my child - especially when I missed out on the first 3.5 years of his life. This kind of knowing takes time. The more I know him and who God made him to be, the more grateful I am for the fact that I get to be his mom. So grateful. </div>
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Yesterday, it was cool and cloudy and we went on an adventure to Long Hunter State Park. It's not far away at all and yet I had never been there. So we went. We packed a lunch and we went on an adventure. Mihretu loves to say "we're having an adventure mommy". It's so cute. We saw a deer when we parked the car. And then Mihretu saw a playground which he was more excited about. I was more excited about the deer. He played on there for a while and then we found a trail that was only a 1 mile loop. It seemed longer - probably cause we went pretty slow. We didn't see any deer on that trail but we did see a few really cute baby toads - see photo above. And we came across the most beautiful little spot on the lake while on this little trail. There was even a little plastic chair right there by the water. Mihretu said "look mommy - you sit and I'll sit on your lap and we'll snuggle". Who can turn that down? Not this momma! It was perfect. So peaceful. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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After our little 1 mile loop, we hopped in the car and headed back to the playground section. On the way, we saw a whole family of deer. Including several baby deer. I was super excited. Mihretu was only interested for like 2 seconds:) </div>
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Once we got back to the park location with the playground - Mihretu said he wanted to take our blanket down by the lake and have a picnic there. So we did. I packed sandwiches and waters and we had a lovely little picnic by the lake and had this great view:)</div>
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We really enjoyed our adventure on this fall like day! So thankful for a fun little adventure partner. </div>
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-37914192542873154672014-09-06T17:54:00.002-05:002014-09-06T17:55:29.343-05:00Unfailing Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I'm at the Unfailing Love retreat for foster and adoptive moms this week. It's in Hoover, Alabama at a beautiful resort. We have a Visiting Orphans table setup which is a great opportunity to get to meet other moms when they stop by the table. I love coming to events like these to get to connect with other momma's who share the same heart and many of the same struggles. Hearing the teaching and stories from others is just a good reminder of the things we know but so often can forget in the busyness of day to day life. Things about trauma and attachment and how different parenting kids from hard places is from parenting biological kids.<br />
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For me, I'm sitting here reflecting on the past 2 years. Oct 28 will be our 2 year gotcha day. 2 years ago that day, I walked into the care center and left with a little 3 year old boy who developmentally more resembled a 1 and a half or 2 year old. A little boy who didn't speak English and didn't know what was going on. Surely he had to have been terrified. He hid it well and even seemed to want to go with me. Even that first time I met him on that mission trip in 2011, he seemed like he would have been fine to leave with me. But it's hard to say what he was really feeling or wanting because he had surely developed all sorts of defense mechanisms as he did the first several years of his life in survival mode. The nannies told me he was ornery. I think he very likely may have figured out that he who is the cries the loudest or throws the biggest fit - gets attention. It might not have been good attention. But I'm pretty sure it probably got him attention nonetheless. When I came and picked him up that day, he snuggled into my arms like he belonged there. I saw a little boy who so desperately wanted someone to belong to and feel safe with. When I would try to put him down - he would get angry. Who could blame him? I would be angry too after all that sweet boy had been through in his first years of life. Living in an orphanage, even the very best ones, is not an ideal place for a child. It's amazing how much a child can grow and thrive in family. I look back at those early days and how he responded to things, how he didn't want me to do anything for him - he wanted all control and wanted to do everything - opening doors, pushing buttons, washing dishes, putting his own toothpaste on, turning on and off the tv. Anything big and small - he wanted to do it and if I tried to - he was not happy. I very vividly remember him throwing himself onto the floor in a huge fit one time when I turned off the DVD player. I kind of thought this was just his personality. He liked to be in charge and in control. But also knew a lot of it could be adoption related. It sure was. Just under 2 years later and he asks me to help him get dressed and has no problem with me washing the dishes or making dinner or getting something out of the cupboard for him. He sometimes likes to help with laundry but he's also fine with me doing it while he plays in the other room now. He didn't even know how to play when he first came home. He wanted nothing to do with other kids or playdates. He just wanted to do grown up things and he wanted to be as close to me as possible... at all times. Oh so much has changed. We've come so far. Both of us.<br />
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His trauma he came with ended up triggering my trauma that I didn't even know was there. That first year was hard. But oh how God used it to get me to a place of great healing and how I've seen Mihretu settle in so much more since I've turned a corner in my own healing. It's truly amazing. There were so many things I was reacting to out of my own junk. My reactions are very different now. And I started noticing the differences in Mihretu pretty much right away as I walked through my junk in counseling earlier this year. So much progress has been made and I haven't been trying to make it happen. When I loosened up and stopped being so intense about everything and feeling like so much was riding on every single moment - wow - our whole household dynamic shifted. We had more fun. We enjoyed each other more. Joy returned. I told my counselor on our last day together that I didn't truly know how depressed and joy-less I was until joy returned. Then I was like "Wow! What a difference". You have to fill out a self assessment the first day and again the last day. You circle a number 1-10 to rank things like your level of anxiety, anger, depression, etc. On the last day as I was circling things on a whole different level - I could look back and see that even my numbers in the beginning didn't fully reflect how bad I had felt. I had just gotten used to it so I just circled like 4's and 5's. On that last day, when I was on the other side of joy - I asked if I could change some of those starting numbers in certain categories because looking back in comparison to how great I was feeling now - I think I was more like a 1 or 2 in some of those things only didn't realize it until I was out of it. That first year, I was going through the motions. Getting up every day and doing life the best I could manage but I really wasn't thriving. And although Mihretu was definitely thriving more than he had been in an orphanage - he wasn't thriving as much as he could have been. I was not reacting well to him. I was not feeling compassionate and kind in his meltdowns or controlling ways - I wasn't even really thinking about where he had come from or how much trauma he had most of the time. I was just seeing him through my own selfish lens of "holy cow my life is different. I've lost all freedom. He's pushing all sorts of buttons that I didn't know I had. What is wrong with me? I'm a horrible mom" mode. And then the cycle of hating myself and thinking I was the worst mom and person on the planet started. And the enemy pounded me day and night with lies and replays in my mind of every wrong thing I had done that day and the words "you're gonna mess him up for life" "what is wrong with you? He's already got trauma and now YOU are causing him more" played over and over and over. If it wasn't for the safe place in some of my friends and the realization on my part that I needed to be honest with some people and tell them the truth of what was going on - I don't know how I would have gotten through that first year. And the crazy thing is - we weren't even dealing with some of the extreme circumstances that many adoptive families deal with. Mihretu was seemingly adjusting well and even thriving. And even in that - I felt guilty because I knew other families had far harder things to deal with and I felt horrible for feeling so horrible for thinking this was so hard. But the reality is, no matter what your situation is when you adopt - it's hard. If you're a first time momma, it's hard. If you're single, it's hard. If you're married, it's hard. If you've got other biological kids, it's hard. If you've adopted before, it's still hard. Adoption comes from loss and brokenness. It's hard. But God can make it beautiful. And He can even make all your junk that gets stirred up in you into something beautiful because He can get you to a place of brokenness where you realize more than ever how much you need him. And how much you cannot do this without Him. And He can bring you healing and He can use that healing you've walked through to help you understand your child's places of pain and brokenness so you can help them walk through it. God works ALL things together for the good of those who love Him. He's so amazing like that.<br />
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I'm sitting here at this adoption retreat feeling overwhelmed with thankfulness. Thankful that I'm on this side of joy. Thankful that unlike a year and a half ago when I went to an adoption conference much like this one - that this time I'm not feeling depressed and shame filled but rather feeling hopeful and thankful and filled with joy. Thank you Jesus for your restoring power. For us mommas and for our kiddos. I've never quite understood the love of Christ and His adoption of us so much as I do now that I'm an adoptive mom on this journey to restoration for my sweet son. The story is not over yet. I am sure we will walk through hard days and seasons. And I'm sure that I will continue to feel at times like I am ill equipped. But I am equally sure that God will be enough to carry us and equip me with everything I need for that day. I am not enough for my child. Only God is enough. And if I can point Mihretu to Christ - that is the most important part of my role as mom. To point my son to the one who never fails, never messes up and never forsakes us. Even in my mess ups now, I get to say I'm sorry and say "mommy messed up. But guess what? Jesus never does." How beautiful is that!<br />
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I am so thankful for this journey. So thankful for this child that is truly a joy and a blessing. I can't imagine a child more perfectly matched to me. The way he is wired. The things that he does and says. The way he loves to quote movie lines - my Kerr side of the family has always done this too. The way he finds heart shaped things in nature and points it out to me and notes how beautiful it is. I've noticed heart shaped things in nature for years. I have a collection of rocks and photos of water puddles and other things in nature that are heart shaped. I always felt like they were love notes to me from God. How beautiful and perfect that Mihretu notices these things too! How awesome that he is silly with a very similar sense of humor to me. That he likes to have things in order and will insist we pick up toys before bed because this room is "a disaster". While I've loosened up a ton in this area, especially since becoming a parent, I do still like a clean house. And apparently so does he. It's just neat how God puts families together. People sometimes say how lucky Mihretu is to have me for his mom. No, friends - I'm the lucky one. He's the most amazing kid on the face of the earth and I'm so glad that the fog of my own junk has lifted so that I can fully embrace and enjoy him for who God made him to be and enjoy every moment of being his mom.<br />
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God's love is unfailing. We all have junk but He won't leave us there. If you are reading this and you are walking out some hard days and your junk has been stirred up big time and you're stuck in the vicious cycle of beating yourself up - let me just encourage you that you are not alone. Reach out to some trusted people and let them in. Be real. Be honest. And reach out to a counselor in your area. I worked with Beth Murphy at Rock House Center in Nashville and she does skype appointments too. Don't ignore your junk. Get healing and work through the junk and you will be so very glad you did when you're walking in joy on the other side of it. Dear momma, hold on to Jesus. And don't let the enemy tell you that you can't do this. You can. And you don't have to do it alone. We're not meant to walk alone. </div>
Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-29605683584707016502014-08-10T16:16:00.001-05:002014-08-10T16:16:56.894-05:00Our New Normal And Oh How Nice It Is!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am sitting in my home office right now typing this as my son is in my bed on the other side of the house with his nap music on and several books to look at as he falls asleep. He's not asleep yet but he's winding down. And he's in another room by himself. More than just for a few minutes. On the other end of the house. And he's not freaking out - at all. In fact, this "look at books and rest until you fall asleep" thing has been our new nap time routine for about 2 weeks now. And it's lovely. So lovely.<br />
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When I think back to those first months when I brought him home just under 2 years ago, I have to pause and take note of how far we've come. I remember when I couldn't even walk in the other direction without him freaking out. I remember when he was literally next to me 24/7. I couldn't eat, sleep, shower, anything without him literally right next to or on top of me. In the middle of the night, while sleeping, he would reach out for me and climb right on me. As overwhelming as all of this was for me, can you imagine how overwhelming life must've been for him? That he would be so fearful of being alone, that even when he was supposed to be sound asleep resting, he was reaching out, even in his subconscious, to make sure I was still there. I cannot even fully comprehend what must've been going on in his heart and mind.<br />
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Can I just say how thankful I am for all the healing that has already taken place and all the progress that has already happened? I am beyond thankful. Sometimes in the midst of the new normal and the busyness of life - you forget for a moment where you were 2 years ago. And then you pause and find yourself saying "wow!" Because wow - we've come so far. He's come so far.<br />
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He's 5 now. He starts kindergarten tomorrow. And he's only been home with mommy for just under 2 years. Crazy to become a mom and then be sending your kid to kindergarten less than 2 years later. That feels like crazy rapid warp speed - cause it is! He's been at a fabulous Montessori school since 5 weeks after coming home. And he thrives there. His class is mixed ages - 3 to 6 year olds - all in one class. The teacher and assistant work with the kids at their individual levels but having mixed ages has been so perfect for him. He never felt behind or noticed that he wasn't at the same level as other kids his age. Because he never had to be. And low and behold - he's caught right up to his age. Amazing how fast kids learn and grow at this age. And developmentally - it's like 4 years has gone by in only 2. He's grown like 6 inches and although he's still small for 5 - he is catching up in size too. And just in the last few months, has outgrown 2 shoe sizes. My little boy is a big kindergartener now. He had school all summer - summer semester at his school is super fun - Friday is water day where they wear bathing suits and get to play on a blow up water slide, Tuesday is ice cream day and then they have art once a week and then on certain days throughout the summer - they had fun stuff like puppet show day or pony rides at the school or the zoo brought a few animals. He had a fun summer. This past week he had off and he's been asking me all week when he gets to go back to school and see his friends and his teachers. He says he misses them and is really excited to go back tomorrow. Oh how thankful I am that he loves his school and wants to go. As a single working mom, it would be so hard if that were not the case.<br />
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As of a few weeks ago, I now get to work from home. We moved out of our office - it was a good move financially and practically since we no longer needed that much space when a majority of our staff are not in the office each day. We certainly didn't need an office space and all the costs that go along with it for only two of us to be there full-time each day. So it's been a good transition. I am loving working from home. I am so much less distracted and get so much more done. I am not spending as much time driving since M's school is close to us. And the dog doesn't have to be crated or home alone cause I'm here. She just lays at my feet and is pretty chill all day. Which reminds me, if you've been reading my other blog posts - we had two puppies. Well, we only have one now. Two proved to be way too chaotic for this single momma. Our house was a constant state of wild. I had a number of friends kindly ask if I might want to consider only keeping one. And I have to admit, I was pretty stressed out. Both dogs are great dogs. But when you had them together - it was nonstop wrestle, bark, growl, roll-around mania!! So I reached out the agency I adopted them from and had to admit I didn't know what I was getting into and was too stressed out to handle two and ask them to help find Buddy a home. They were so gracious and kind. And I was willing to keep him until a home was found. It took a little over a month but he found a great home. We are even still in touch with the people and got to have 1 playdate with him since. I LOVE having only 1 dog and Mihretu is loving on her so much more. With two, whenever he would try to love on them - they would both jump all over him and it got overwhelming to him as they got bigger so Mihretu was mostly not wanting to interact with them at all. Now that we just have 1, he's constantly playing with her and hugging her and wanting to know where she is at all times. She even sleeps with us now and just stays in the bed the whole night. I still lay down with him till he falls asleep so she does too. I almost always fall asleep for a few hours too and then get up in the middle of the night to go to my bed. She just comes along. In the mornings, Mihretu comes into my room and climbs in bed with us and we all snuggle for a bit before we get up. I just love it. Very good decision I made to just keep one. We know now - we are a 1 dog family!<br />
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Between only one dog, getting to work from home and all the great progress Mihretu has made, including our new naptime routine where I read him 1 book and then turn on his music and leave him in the bed with several other books to look at and I go to the other end of the house to work or do whatever - our new normal is really nice. I still have my moments where I very much lose my patience and have to apologize. And he still has his meltdowns and he's definitely got a sassy side. Lately he likes to argue about most everything I ask him to do. Or blame the dog if he makes a mess but doesn't want to admit it or blame me if he trips and falls and gets hurt - even though I'm nowhere near him. He's kind of in this blaming someone else stage. And arguing stage. So it's not like it's all roses and chocolate over here but it sure beats the survival mode we started out in.<br />
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That 2 year Gotcha Day Anniversary is rapidly approaching. On October 28, 2012 - I arrived at the Care Center and walked out a few hours later with my son - never to have to leave him behind again. I didn't know exactly what to expect or what our journey would look like - I had a pretty good idea that it would be hard. It was and is - but in much different ways than I had thought it would be. But I also never could have imagined or known how amazing this kid I get to call my son would be. How much everyone who knows him would love him. How silly and smart he would be. How resilient and strong he was. I didn't quite know how much life was going to change or in what ways but I knew that I was making the right decision. I've never doubted that. And the more time goes on, the more grateful I am for the courage to make that decision and charge into the unknown with this little guy. Hands down the best decision I've ever made. I can't wait to celebrate our 2 year Gotcha Day! Lots to celebrate indeed.<br />
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Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686748107633185159.post-48441652363744437212014-07-03T21:52:00.000-05:002014-07-03T21:52:42.857-05:00Summer adventuresI can't believe it's July already! Time is flying by. Mihretu and I just returned from a week in Michigan. I had my 20 year high school reunion and all my family lives up there so we had lots of people to see. This time instead of staying with family, we rented a house. I think I'm addicted to vrbo.com. Now that I have a child, I find that I get extremely anxious when staying at most people's houses. Especially if they don't have young kids living there. I end up nagging Mihretu half to death about not touching things or climbing on things or breaking things and it ends up no fun for anyone. After our amazing Florida vrbo experience and how great the time with M was there - I decided to try it in Michigan. It was great. My mom was able to come spend the night one night. And almost all the family came to visit and go to the beach with us. We weren't right on the beach but we were on the edge of a neighborhood with beach access so we could just load up the provided wagon and head down about 7 houses to the private neighborhood beach. It was so nice. Most of the time when I go to MI - I am so busy running all over the place visiting everyone - I never make it to the beach. This beach time and people coming over to visit us was so nice and made it feel more like a vacation. It was so great to see everyone and have a break to the 98 degree humid weather we had been having in TN the week prior but both Mihretu and I were excited to come home after our week was up.<br />
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We drove and I like to get an early morning start since it's a lot of hours in the car and I don't like to drive much of the time in the dark. So, I got up at 4:15 am, packed up the car and got ready and then woke M up at like 4:30. Sweet boy - half asleep he says "Yay - we're going home. Thanks for waking me up mommy". Seriously - what kid wakes up that chipper at 4:30 am (that's 3:30 am back home btw)? He is the best little traveler ever! No issues or meltdowns whatsoever the whole way there and back. So thankful for a good traveler. We got through Detroit and Toledo before rush hour that Friday morning which was the hope. We never hit traffic anywhere and made it home in a record 9.5 hours. YAY!<br />
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Here are some pics from our Michigan trip.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">we love the beach</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">those who came to the class reunion daytime picnic</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">cousin bonding time</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Road trip!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bonding with Grandma at the beach</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN3FfB8RhvCoAJjZ_jwXBxj9mKhm-o-OHM_4CLReUNNDYdmyihYS_2TCLymP5tPenZ5yCbNRXlb6j2-ARs47JrfCn74jSonBjTmyc-ZWMUbjueUsUr8G12z2wtlEOtIfvK5dALbLUnztA/s1600/2014-06-26+19.01.26-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN3FfB8RhvCoAJjZ_jwXBxj9mKhm-o-OHM_4CLReUNNDYdmyihYS_2TCLymP5tPenZ5yCbNRXlb6j2-ARs47JrfCn74jSonBjTmyc-ZWMUbjueUsUr8G12z2wtlEOtIfvK5dALbLUnztA/s1600/2014-06-26+19.01.26-1.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">wrestling with Uncle Steve</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1Jvx1lK85NXd0hCV-bNBNtqZYEJ4GPlAx1M4roFy3R4tco6niJ5jfpztSy-qODydjXZKZGhPzFxH-uR9p7vYuSBCdSNYtos8h1Zt3PNNOh7QDjx3QFkWwgfkjhGa1USGT8yRZSopqIPo/s1600/2014-06-27+04.42.45-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1Jvx1lK85NXd0hCV-bNBNtqZYEJ4GPlAx1M4roFy3R4tco6niJ5jfpztSy-qODydjXZKZGhPzFxH-uR9p7vYuSBCdSNYtos8h1Zt3PNNOh7QDjx3QFkWwgfkjhGa1USGT8yRZSopqIPo/s1600/2014-06-27+04.42.45-1.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Happy to go home - even when being woken up at 4:30 am:)</td></tr>
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<br />
2 days after getting home, instead of returning to the office that Monday - we had an offsite staff retreat. We've been wanting to do one forever but with 7 people on staff - 2 from out of state and most with families - it has been a bear to try and arrange. I finally had an idea that made it work out brilliantly. We rented a house just outside of Nashville on you guessed it - vrbo.com. Told you I'm addicted to that site. It was a great house on Old Hickory lake and our out of state staff were able to stay the night there and those of us who wanted to could stay too. Mihretu and I stayed there that Monday night. I dropped him off at school Monday morning and then went to the house and we had an all day retreat with our amazing VO staff. It was perfect timing since I got back from vacation on Friday and had an email that our landlords at our office found renters for our entire space and were giving us 30 days notice to vacate. We had asked them about a year earlier to start promoting the space since we didn't need that much space anymore and now have a lot of staff that work a majority of the time from home. We were in a 3 year lease so we couldn't just move out but if someone else wanted part of the space or all of it - we could either move into a smaller section or move out altogether. So we were excited about them renting it but having 30 days to get all the details figured out for a big move sounded overwhelming at first. Our retreat was perfect timing to just set those logistics aside and focus on worship, praise, and thanksgiving for all God had been doing in our lives and in VO the past few years. It was so great to go through and thank God for specific prayers answered including all the many many months of praying for Mihretu to get to come home. Lots of tears shed as we prayed and thanked God for so many miracles to make that one happen. It's amazing how when you start out in praise and thanksgiving - how your whole perspective of things that seemed big or heavy or overwhelming just completely shifts. I personally felt a weight lift and just a total peace come over me. Our whole staff experienced that too. It was a lovely day with this amazing team of 7 people. We do life together and I don't know what I would have done without each one of them these past few years. After our amazing all-day retreat - I left at 4 to pick up M from school and bring him back to the house where we were having our staff day. And several of the staff had spouses arrive to join us for the evening and the owner of the house picked us at 6:30 at the boat dock at the house and took us on a beautiful sunset boat ride and dropped us off at Sam's on the Cove for dinner and then picked us up afterwards and took us back via boat ride. It was a really great evening and we got to have some of our family members join us. Having a retreat nearby worked out so great. We will have to do that yearly.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH7iTbdZPStkrwS0Q1BL_F-8CZN7QTn1Y2Uz9gbyEH9AeVT0HE-TQcxdlsYn086uEoYT0LJvYa9K6HFBo5snVaofz5_lNJfMS7IO33NN8ov1PjDZ75N6Ak-04QroqnaC6fUaGVq0JnsGQ/s1600/2014-06-30+18.39.05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH7iTbdZPStkrwS0Q1BL_F-8CZN7QTn1Y2Uz9gbyEH9AeVT0HE-TQcxdlsYn086uEoYT0LJvYa9K6HFBo5snVaofz5_lNJfMS7IO33NN8ov1PjDZ75N6Ak-04QroqnaC6fUaGVq0JnsGQ/s1600/2014-06-30+18.39.05.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">evening boat ride on Old Hickory Lake on staff retreat day</td></tr>
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Tomorrow is 4th of July and we are getting together with friends and having some pool time. I am excited about the long weekend. Mihretu loves swimming and fireworks so it's sure to be a great weekend. And best of all - the temps have dropped down to 80's and it's so much more pleasant than the 100 degrees we had a few days ago. Tonight there was even a cool breeze - it was lovely:) Happy July 4th weekend y'all!<br />
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<br />Autumnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09719013553325879177noreply@blogger.com0