Friday, March 15, 2013

Patience

I think little man was a little overtired tonight. He was in a great mood and we've had a great week and I decided we'd go out for mexican food. We're running low on groceries and we had gotten to go for a walk with the dog after work/school and enjoy the gorgeous weather - why not have a mommy and Mihretu dinner date tonight too. Sounded super fun. We'd never been to a mexican restaurant together before and Mihretu just goes with the flow. He walked in like we'd been there 20 times and was up for the new adventure, being super cute and silly at the table. He loved the chips and cheese dip and ate most of the rice. Not crazy about the quesadilla or beans though. About 1/2 way through the meal, the meltdowns started. I think he played hard outside at school today cause he was suddenly acting over-tired and melting down at any little thing. Things like his napkin getting dirty after wiping his hands with it or him throwing his spoon on the floor on purpose and being upset that he didn't have a new one in 30 seconds, getting a tiny drip of cheese on his finger, and all sorts of other things like that. He was so frustrated and tired and whiny and mad and he looked at me with this "I'll show you" look and stuck his entire hand in his pile of rice and started kneeding it and smooshing it and getting his hands all dirty and making a big old mess which also got him upset after the fact cause he was then upset about his hands being messy. I told him we don't do that and moved his plate away. Then he started crying about that. It was all I could do to get the bill and get out of there. It started out really fun. In the future, I think I'll steer clear of trying to eat out on a weeknight, especially after a nice day when he got to play a lot outside at school.

Once we got home, it was 7:30 so we let the dog out, gave her a treat and then started the bedtime routine. He used to go to bed at 7 pm when I first brought him home. Not anymore. Now it's a miracle if he's asleep by 9, even when we start the whole routine at 7:30 or 8. Tonight, it was 9:30 before he was asleep. He's getting too big to be able to get comfy on my lap on the rocking chair so it's a long process of him falling asleep - he keeps readjusting to get comfy, getting off the chair and into the bed and back again - tonight was at least 15 times. He decided he had to go potty 30 minutes into it. He wanted a drink of water. He wanted to sing songs. He wanted to try anything he could think of to stall. He was so tired, you could tell. He was rubbing his eyes and yawning and whining at every little thing and yet he could not get to sleep. Oh my gosh - it's all I can do is just try to get through that hour and 10 minutes without pulling my hair out. I'm tired and after sitting there that long in the dark, I'm about asleep. Sometimes I am asleep by that point - while sitting in the chair and head bobbing:)

I know this is all normal parent stuff. I've babysat enough to know that. I just find myself having to really work on patience in these moments that last an hour. I had no idea how frustrating it could be. I don't even know why it's so frustrating. Maybe it's because I'm tired and I worked all day and I am just ready for some alone time. Maybe it's because I'm still new at this. Maybe it's just simply because I'm not that patient and I need to work on that:) When I babysat - it wasn't that frustrating cause it was only once in awhile and not every single night and I didn't really think much of it. Real life, every single night with no spouse to take a turn - bedtime routine isn't quite the magical adventure I had pictured. Adoption or not, single parenting or not, bedtime or some other scenario - I'm sure all parents know the feeling. I just know I want to be less frustrated and more patient and not feel like I'm going to pull my hair out when bedtime takes that long. In hindsight, I know it's small stuff so I'm trying to just not have expectations. And yet I do. Like this one:
We're bringing home the twin bed next week and I'm hoping and praying it cuts some time off of the long road to falling asleep. On weekends when we nap - I just have him lay down in my bed with me. He falls asleep so fast - like sometimes within 5 minutes. Maybe I'm foolishly hopeful but I'm so praying that with the twin bed - I can just lay down with him and the whole process will be a whole lot faster and therefore less frustrating. And if I happen to fall asleep, oh well - at least I'm laying down and not bobbing my head in the rocking chair. And if he can get comfy faster and not be getting up and down every 5 minutes - that would be awesome! Praying it works. Counting down the days until next week. ha ha

In all seriousness though - I feel pretty blessed to think that our little bedtime scenario is the biggest frustration I have to write about at this point. We've come along way since those first days home and the scratching, biting, spitting on and hitting mommy phase. Big or small, whatever the frustration  - I just want to be more patient. Working on that. Daily. 

1 comment:

  1. Hi - I found your blog through Mumdrah's SANe network - good to "meet" you.

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