Empowered to Connect

This weekend, I attended the Empowered to Connect Conference here in Nashville. For two days, I learned about brain function and what chemicals the body releases when a baby is nurtured and loved and their needs are met. I also learned about what happens when those needs aren't met and how devastating that is for kids from hard places. Even in the most loving orphanage, it's still not the kind of nurturing a child will get from his very own momma. To be held and stared at for hours a day. To cry and know someone is coming to meet their needs. To feel safe, to feel precious, to feel loved unconditionally. To know he'll be fed and his diaper changed. To know he has this person(s) who is always there for them. My sweet boy hasn't had that. He hasn't had consistency. I'm pretty sure there have been days when his little tummy has been hungry and his needs haven't been met. The rest of what he's been through - I may never know. But I know he has experienced much loss and hurt in his young life and that alone is enough to make any momma just want to lock herself in a room and sob for days. But you can't stay in that place. You have to move into the place of hope. And that's what this conference was all about. It equipped me with knowledge and understanding and tools for how to bring healing in my sweet boys body, soul and spirit. I truly hope that the things I learned will stick with me in moments when my knee jerk reaction could be frustration and instead turn it into compassion. Compassion for an innocent child who isn't intentionally acting out or being defiant but a child who has been in survival mode for a long time and didn't have the nurturing he needed. Dr. Karyn Purvis talked about giving our children a voice, letting them know they're precious and that they are safe and can trust us. While that is a huge responsibility that could be overwhelming, I just found myself wanting even more to get my boy home so we can begin the journey toward healing.

There's so many unknowns and so much info. I don't know what specific things will be a struggle for him. But I know that whatever it is, there are resources out there to help me so I can help him. I am beginning a journey with my son. And I feel so honored to be the one who gets to be on this journey with him. I know there will be many hard days ahead but I also know that I don't have to go it alone. I am so thankful for that. I've been thinking so much lately about all the families who adopted 20 years ago and didn't have all the resources we have today. I feel so blessed by conferences like this one and books about attachment and adoption and how to help our children heal. I'm thankful for other adoptive families willing to be transparent and real about their struggles. I'm thankful for a support network and most of all for a father in heaven who demonstrated exactly what adoption looks like when he adopted us!!!

My prayer is that Mihretu would know that I'm his safe place and that the connection we already have would continue to grow stronger every day and that the Lord would give me wisdom and compassion and patience and kindness and gentleness with this precious child He has entrusted to me.

Lord empower me to love my child well and to parent him in a manner worthy of this which you have called me to. Equip me with every tool that I need and all wisdom from above to be exactly what Mihretu needs me to be. Help me to be a very real example to him of what love is and who you are. Thank you in advance for this gift and for the honor of being this precious child's mom. Lord please be in all the details needed to bring him home soon so we can begin this journey together.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. ~ James 1: 5

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. ~ James 3:17-18