Our new home

We've been living in Florida in our new home for just over 3 weeks now.  In so many ways, it feels like we've been here a lot longer than that. For one, our house is all situated, stuff is unpacked and put away, pictures and decor are hung and it just feels like home. For two, unlike when I moved to Nashville and didn't know anyone - we do know some folks here which has helped a lot. We've been getting great use of our pool - we swim pretty much every night after M gets home from camp and sometimes on the weekends, we go in several times in a day. Saturday mornings we've been getting up and taking the dog to the dog park that's only a mile away and then heading to the beach for a few hours. This past Saturday, we discovered a dog beach and took Elsa with us. She wouldn't go near the water but she loved playing with the other dogs and roaming free on the beach. She did great - didn't try to run off or anything. She'd wander down a bit but then come back. She didn't go far. I think we will have to go there more often. We love our house and have already started having some friends over. My best friend since high school just moved an hour away a few weeks ago so we get to see her and the kiddos tonight and I am so thrilled about that and the fact that we are only 1 hour away from each other now. What a surprise awesome bonus! Didn't even know that God had that in the works when we decided to move here.

Mihretu has started saying that he misses our other house just this week. I miss our church and our friends the most. We've tried out 3 churches so far and haven't found the right fit yet. He's been a total trooper about it. This week he came out and said "I didn't like that one. Let's try another one next week." I've been so amazed at how well he's adjusted to our new home and new everything. He was so scared and nervous that first day at camp - I cried as I drove away cause I felt so bad about throwing him into a new place after just moving a week prior. But when I picked him up he was all smiles and told me all about his day and the friends he made. So proud of my brave boy. And oh my, so proud of how well he is swimming. He's like a little fish. Everyday he swims farther and gets more adventurous. This weekend, he saw me do a handstand in the water and then told me he was going to do it and sure enough, he did. He can swim the entire length of the pool with only one breath in the middle now. And he can now swim down to the bottom to grab something and bring it back up. I stand amazed.

We are loving our house and the warm, sunny weather. And I'm so thankful that we have some friends here - my friend Deb lives about 40 minutes away so we've gotten to meet in the middle several times and that's been awesome. And I've been connecting with some past VO team members who live nearby and have gotten together with a few and have plans to do so with a few others and that's so neat. Also a friend who stayed with me when I first bought my house in TN facebooked me like a week ago that she lives here now too so they came over last weekend. How fun!!!! So thankful for having some friends here already and making more. A sweet lady at the dog park told me about a great lawn guy and I called him and he's been cutting our lawn and is also a handyman so he installed our two chandeliers for us. So thankful for that connection. Got to meet his wife and son last week too and they live nearby so hopefully we'll get together with them soon. I love getting connected. I know we will get even moreso connected once we find our church home. Praying we find the right one soon.

Here's a few pictures of our new home and some of our adventures here so far!

The car ride down - we were packed in like sardines. I could barely move my right arm. Elsa did great considering it was her first car ride over 30 minutes and Mihretu did amazing as always. He's my little road trip buddy. 

Hanging out at the dog park:)

Saturday morning beach fun!

I love how his room came out and the fact that his tree with all the names of folks
who donated to help bring him home was able to come to our new home with us!

There's a beach nearby that has a praise band on the beach every Friday night
so we went to hear that at sunset a few weeks ago. Gorgeous!

Best view around right there. Love my babies. 

Got a chandelier installed - we got the same exact one that we had in our TN home which was Mihretu's idea.
Loving our little dining room/living room combo open room. 

My little fish swimming in our pool. 

more beach adventures

My room was the last to finish - but got it done last week.
Loving my home office with a view of the pool out the window. 

The guest room is all ready for our dear friends and family to come visit. My friend Samantha already has a flight booked to come in October. So excited about that!

Living area

Another little spot in the living area

I love this spot with those awesome pictures that I had printed on canvas above the chair

We've been having lots of fun using our diving masks

I love the joy I see in him when we are at the beach!

Making the big move!

Gosh, I just hopped over here and realized I haven't posted anything since our big snow storm. Lots has happened since then. Biggest thing is - we're moving to Florida in 2 weeks. Time has flown by, things have fallen into place and we are super excited. And also sad too cause we will miss our friends here in TN so much. Here's a timeline of how quickly things have come together for this move, although I have been praying about it for quite some time.

In Feb, the VO Board of directors approved my request to relocate to Sarasota, FL and keep my same job. Since I work from home remotely anyway and we already have staff in several states, wasn't much of a change as far as the job goes and they approved the request.

Later in Feb, Mihretu got into a Montessori Charter school in Sarasota which was a huge praise! He's in Montessori private school now and has been since he first came home from Ethiopia so the idea of keeping him in the Montessori environment has always been top choice for me. To get into a public/charter school is a huge praise cause hello - public school is free!!!! And as a bonus - this school goes all the way through high school which I've never even heard of in TN. So excited he got in.

Eary March - our house went under contract. It sold without even putting it on the market. We closed on it 2 weeks ago and are renting it back until we move. A family from church with 3 adopted kids are buying it. How awesome is that?

Mid March - We flew to FL over Mihretu's spring break and spent 3 full days house hunting. We saw like 20 houses and boy was that stressful. But we found one that we love and it's only 7 miles from M's school and it has a pool. Woo hoo! We are excited about that! We close on that in a week through the mail and then will be able to get right in when we drive down May 24th. Woo hoo. Here's a photo of the pool which is our fav part!



Mihretu is enrolled in a YMCA summer camp for the summer which is exciting. I know he will have a ball. It even has a waterpark. That boy loves water so I'm pretty sure he's going to transition to life in FL quite well.

So excited to be close to my friend Deb and my step-grandma and some other friends who are like extended family, as well as some new friends I've connected with who are past VO team members who live in that area. Also have already gotten connected with quite a few adoptive families with Ethiopian kiddos. There's even a ministry there that has a moms night out once a month just for adoptive and foster moms. How awesome is that?

I'm feeling a little under the weather right now with allergies in full force and my sinuses feeling quite unpleasant but I've still got a lot to do so I press on. Would appreciate prayers just for this to pass quickly so I can get back to full speed ahead on packing and preparing everything to get moved.

Will update again soon once we get down there. Sarasota, here we come!!!

Snowpocalypse 2015

Well, we got a big ole ice storm two nights ago and have been snowed in since. I'm working as much as I can (I work from home anyway) while trying to keep little man entertained. We've had some fun outside in what looks like a scene out of the movie Frozen! We went sledding yesterday with our neighbors who let us use their sled. Today we went sledding with a laundry basket - well, Mihretu did. I just watched and cheered him on. We also took a walk and he rode down some little hills in his red and yellow car. And then we got cold and tired so we came inside and warmed up! We've played a lot of rounds of Uno, Sequence and a number of other games, including Mario Kart on the Wii. We've watched a lot of movies. It's funny, I had no idea last Friday when I bought 8 movies from McKays used bookstore how very much those new movies would be needed during snowpocalypse 2015:)
I'm also very glad we just went grocery shopping Saturday. Although I really wish I had gotten some chocolate cause I'm craving that! and I could really go for a burger or some taco's. ha ha Joking (but not joking) Funny how everything sounds good when you know you can't get out to go get anything. I'm certainly not willing to venture out in a road that is covered in ice to get food when we have plenty of food here.
Here's hoping it warms up soon so this will melt. But looking at the weather forecast, it sure doesn't look promising.

Tantrum City

Well, I was just recently reading back some of my blog posts about how happy I was that we were past that initial hard season and everything was so happy and fun now. I am still a relatively new momma - 2 years in - and I am learning that you're never really over the hard seasons. You get through one and enter another and if you have a few months in between, you're extremely lucky:) We just had a few months of awesome and now we are right back in the hard. The tantrum screaming crying about everything season. I don't know if it's winter or what. But he's not listening, he's being sassy and disrespectful and every single thing I ask him to do - he will argue or throw a fit about. It is wearing me down, I tell ya. Big time. And sometimes I'm super calm and patient in those moments and other times I am not. Parenting is hard stuff.

Paintings I've done

I finished a few paintings recently to get ready for the Christmas Marketplace at my church. The prints are now available for order on the blog Paintings for Sale tab here.  I sold a few of the originals at church this morning which was really exciting. I'm also going to start making tree paintings for adoptive families like the one I did for Mihretu with all the names of those who donated to help bring him home on all the leaves. If you or someone you know would be interested in that, those prices are on that page too!

Happy 2 Year Gotcha Day

We just celebrated our 2 Year Gotcha Day last week on October 28th. November 1st was the day two years ago when we arrived exhausted into the Nashville airport and Mihretu spent his first night at home. The first days and weeks were so surreal. Looking back now, it almost feels like a dream. Jet lag, language barriers, getting to know one another and so much that was unfamiliar - I am truly amazed at how well my little guy did in those early days. And so very thankful for how well he's doing now, 2 years later. Life is SO much easier now. There's an understanding and a knowing between us now that we just didn't have back then - we were in essence strangers who jumped into a new life together - one that was completely different than life previously for both of us. Survival mode - it wasn't always pretty or fun but we made it through and now we are on the other side - the side that is joyous and comfortable and fun. Not always easy because parenthood simply isn't easy. But SO much easier than those early days together. I am so thankful that in this great big world, God put us together on that July day in 2011 at an orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. In a room filled with babies and toddlers, one little boy stole my heart. And he is now and forever a part of me. Beyond thankful!

Here are some photos from last week which was Gotcha Day and Halloween week. Mihretu got to go trick or treating for the first time - he had so much fun! He was a UPS guy for Halloween and I was a package. We had so much fun with that. On Friday, he didn't have school so we went to the UPS station and waited 30 minutes for access to one of the trucks so Mihretu could see what it was like to be in one! 

What makes me mad...

Ok so I'm a peacemaker and you will rarely ever find me posting or sharing anything controversial on my facebook page or even on my blog. But something is really bothering me lately and I feel like I have to write about it because I know I can't be the only one.

What makes me mad is this...

The fact that it seems like much of the world out there thinks choosing to adopt as a single is a bad thing.

Why do I think this is the case?

Because myself and people I know who are prayerfully considering adopting as a single have gotten comments such as the following (which I will comment on one by one below):

1. "Kids need a dad." 

2. "Really? You're going to adopt as a single? Is that really fair to the child?"

3. "Are you sure you can handle that? I can't imagine parenting without my spouse. It's going to be so hard. I don't think you realize..." 

4. "Have you really prayed about this?"

5. "Are you sure you're not just getting ahead of God's timing? Maybe you should wait to get married first."

And the list goes on. When you're on the "single" side of the conversation - it feels very isolating, very much like a couples world and very much like you're being judged all because you don't happen to be married. Being single is not a disease. It's not a sign that something is wrong with you. I have a whole bunch of amazing single friends that I honestly don't know why some awesome guy has not scooped them up and married them yet. Seriously strong, Godly, smart, successful, amazing woman. All single. Just like me. And we're all living life and we're just as happy, sometimes moreso, than our married friends. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SINGLE!!!!

And you know what, in regards to that list above - none of y'all are asking any questions that I guarantee most of us singles praying about adoption haven't already wrestled through ourselves. Many of us, wrestled through for years and years and years.

In most cases, it's not even like we are choosing to be single. We just haven't met the right person yet. And we're not willing to just run off and marry some Joe Schmoe just so we can have a family or our kid can have a dad. That would be a whole lot crazier in my opinion than adopting as a single.

So here's my response to the list above and don't misunderstand - I'm not saying everyone thinks this way about single adoption. I have been blessed to have amazingly supportive people in my life who have definitely not made me feel like being a single parent is a bad thing at all. But I also have gotten, at one point or another, all of the responses above from various people - most of whom are Christians. Not all of which were even married themselves but nevertheless couldn't fathom the idea that I would become a mom as a SINGLE!

1) I wholeheartedly agree that having a dad is ideal for a kid. A good dad. A loving dad. An involved dad. A dad that is also a good husband. And you know what - there's a whole heck of a lot of kids in the world that have a dad but they don't resemble any of those things I just mentioned. Being a dad or a mom for that matter is about a lot more than biology or a piece of paper saying so. And I would honestly truly rather stay single and parent my son as a single mom for the rest of my life rather than marry someone who won't be the very best dad to him (notice I didn't say perfect). Yes, I pray for him to someday have an amazing, dedicated, loving earthly father in his life - but if he never does, God is still faithful. God is still His father - the only father any of us will ever have that will truly be perfect and never let us down. And I know He will equip my son with everything he needs. And He'll equip me with everything I need to raise him as a.... single mom.

2) Is it fair to a child to be adopted by a single mom? Wow - that's an interesting question really. Is it fair to a child to not be able to be cared for by their birth family? Heck no! Is it fair to a child to be thrust into institutionalization because of circumstances beyond their control? No way. Is it fair to leave a child in an orphanage with the possibility of never being adopted if you knew of a truly loving single woman who would gladly bring this child into her family and love him and raise him? Yeah, you get my point. I think this question is frankly ridiculous. Maybe cause I work in orphan care and I've met hundreds and hundreds of children all over the world who very well may never have a mom or a dad to tuck them in at night. It's heartbreaking. Maybe it's because I know there are an estimated 163 or so Million children who are orphaned by at least one parent. Yeah, when you know all that - it seems to me there really is no argument for not supporting or cheering on any woman who is able to be a great mom but might just not be married yet.

3) Just because married couples can't fathom parenting as a single does not mean that a single cannot do it. It may mean that they need a different type of support system than married folks do. It may mean they don't get as many breaks or they might not have the option of homeschooling or various other things that some of our couple friends are choosing. But it doesn't mean it can't work. And you know - when people ask me if it's hard being a single mom - I honestly don't know how to respond because I've never been a married mom so I have nothing to compare it to. I think we make it work and God give us grace and people around us to make it a whole lot easier. But at the end of the day, it's hard, just like parenting is hard for our couple friends.

4) Did I pray about it? My thoughts when I was asked those questions were - are you kidding me? I sure hope anyone who is adopting, whether single or married, has prayed long and hard about the decision. It's not something you just wake up one morning and decide to do. And even if your initial decision was on a whim - all the paperwork and fees and classes and scary attachment and trauma stuff you learn about along the way would be sure to scare off anyone who isn't serious about doing this or feel completely sure that God called them to do this. I prayed about it for several years - not wanting to get ahead of God's timing but also not wanting to hold so tightly to the idea of family in my mind that I would miss something else He might have for me. I just kept praying until I was sure. Christmas morning 2010, I woke up and had the very distinct feeling that someone was missing from my home. A little someone. A child. I had wanted to become a mom for many years but I never ever had felt like literally someone was missing from my home and my life until that morning. The next 7 months, I prayed non-stop about adopting as a single. I asked God to show me where, how, when. I attended webinars by adoption agencies, talked to tons of people, researched online, and so on. And then I went on a trip in July 2011 where I picked up a little boy in an orphanage in Ethiopia and felt like the missing piece of the puzzle had been placed in my arms. Turns out, it had. Once I knew, God flung the doors wide open. It wasn't crazy fast or even easy and there were never any guarantees but I just knew if this was truly a God ordained thing - He would work it out to get that little guy home. 15 months later, He did. And my life is so much more rich with that little boy in it. It's been hard and I've come face to face with my own brokenness and junk but not for one second do I think that it was a mistake or I somehow heard God wrong.

5) I could have waited to see if I was going to get married. But then again, I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for oh, you know, like over 20 years. I'm almost 40 (39 next month). I honestly could care less if I ever have biological children cause I've always wanted to adopt anyway so it wasn't necessarily a time clock ticking kind of thing. But it was and is a "hey I'd like to be young enough to be active and do things with my child" kind of thing. And honestly, I have no guarantee that I'll ever get married. And while I surely hope someday I will - if I never do, that's ok. I like my life. I like the things God is doing in it. And I really love being a mom. I'm glad I didn't wait to be a mom because I wouldn't have gotten to be this child's mom and I totally, fully believe that God puts families together and it is very apparent to me that He did so with this one. My son is SO my son! I can't imagine us being more perfectly suited to be a family if we were biologically related. I'm serious. He's my kid through and through. And it's awesome.

When I was praying about adopting, I was very discouraged specifically by some adoption agencies. One in particular literally said "well, we do sometimes work with singles but it's not our preference". I think I caught the lady off guard when my first reaction was this "well, it's not my preference to still be single at age 37, but I haven't met the right person yet so there ya have it." She laughed awkwardly and then I think she realized how ridiculous that comment was. It was hard not to get discouraged by feeling like adoption agencies and people all around were thinking it was not a good idea to adopt as a single. When I really wrestled through all the arguments against it and realized none of them were really good reasons to not give a child a loving home, then I was able to move forward without worrying about what other people were thinking. But I had to come to that place within myself and with God - the place where I knew I could provide a loving, stable home for a child and that I could do it as a single.

I really hope that adoption agencies and the church as a whole begins to embrace singles who adopt. I don't believe every single should adopt, just like I don't believe every couple should adopt. But I do believe God calls families to adoption - and that includes some single parent families. I am very passionate about changing the stigma that seems to be around singles and adoption. Instead of discouraging people from becoming single adoptive parents, let's pray for them, let's support them, let's surround them with community and love and help.