The best email ever

Last night at 2:23 am, I got the long-awaited email that said in the subject header: Case is cleared; request for visa interview. I hit reply to request my first 3 choices of appointment. By the time I woke up at 7:20 am - I had word that I got my first choice. My visa appointment is next Monday, Oct 29th at 9am in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. This is really happening!!!!!


Travel agent is working on flights. We leave Friday sometime and we'll probably get to Addis late Saturday night. I'll get to see my sweet boy this weekend on Sunday!!!!!! And then Monday we'll have our final appointment to get his visa and everything needed to fly home Wednesday night.

Overjoyed is an understatement. I will be arriving on US soil next week with my son!!!

Today is the exact 15 months since the day I first met him. Praise the Lord - he has fulfilled this desire of my heart.


"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him." ~ 1 Samuel 1:27



If anyone feels led to make one last donation toward me bringing my son home, you still can. Any funds donated that are not used toward this return trip will go toward all of his medical tests once he gets here. He'll be getting a lot of blood work, parasite tests and a full medical exam soon after arriving which I just found out can be several thousand dollars. If you wish to contribute toward our travel or his medical costs, you may do from the donate tab.

15 months

This past week has been a whirlwind. So I did get the email from the Embassy on Monday morning saying I was successfully submitted and I did sell my car Monday afternoon. I was beyond thrilled about the embassy and selling the car was bittersweet - you know why if you read my last post. But God is in the details - get this: the people who bought the car were buying it for their adopted daughter who is about to go to college. And if that alone wasn't cool enough - I bought the car the year they adopted her. And as I was signing over the title and said the date aloud - the mom said "it's October 15th today?" to which I said "yup" and she said "that's the date we adopted our daughter". Well there ya have it - total awesome God thing!!!! I'm not gonna lie I teared up as the dad drove away in what had been my reliable car for the past 11 years. But at the same time, I was excited about who would be driving it and really excited that selling it signified me moving into a new season. A season of mommy-hood.

So this week was very active in my adoption process. Here's what it looked like:

Monday morning when I woke up at 2:40 am to check my email I saw that the long awaited Embassy Submission email had arrived at 12:33 am. It read: Dear Kerr Family, Congratulations! Your adoption case has been submitted to the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia....   Praise the Lord!!!! Hard to go back to sleep after reading this good news.

Tuesday morning when I woke up at 5 am, I saw that an email my agency said could take a week was there telling me my portion of the approval process was done and approved and that they would next move on to my son's paperwork, checking for inconsistencies, interviewing guardians or birth family or anyone involved in the case.

Wednesday morning at 8:09 am, I got an email from the Embassy requesting my agency bring in a birth relative to interview. My agency wrote me shortly after and told me they reply to that email with a date and usually the embassy responds saying they are booked that day and then they set a date for 2-3 weeks out. I replied to that email with this "well, I'm going to pray that they miraculously have an opening next week to do the interview". My agency suggested Monday morning and...

Thursday morning, I woke up to an email saying:  the embassy came back with "we're full Monday. Your appointment is at 7:30 am on Tuesday". Not 2-3 weeks later - the very next day from the requested appointment - next week!!! Praise the Lord - this is huge. I am hoping and praying that this will be the final step needed to get the most glorious email of ALL - the one that says Ms. Kerr - you are cleared and may come get your child!!!!!!! Praying that it will happen next week.

If it does - I will be on a plane probably as early as next weekend. Once I get word - the travel is going to happen fast. So I'm in logistics and preparation think-of-anything-at-all-you-should-get-done-beforehand mode right now. And I'm stinkin excited. Like I can't even describe how excited!!!

I just realized tonight that Tuesday, October 23rd - the day of the relative interview is EXACTLY 15 months from the day I met Mihretu. Praying it's a day of favor and blessing and movement!!! Please pray with me that the interview would indeed happen as scheduled with no delay or problems whatsoever and that it will be sufficient to satisfy what the Embassy needs in order to clear my case and that after that interview is finished, I would be cleared to go get my son.

Thank you for praying. I hope my next post is the one we've all been waiting 15 months for:)

From one season into another

It's getting closer. I can feel it. My agency has the additional document the Embassy requested and they are hoping to submit me tomorrow. So by the time I wake up in the morning, I "should" have an email saying I've been submitted. And I will be jumping for joy!!! From there, there's no defined time frame but we know someone who got clearance to come pick up their child in less than 2 weeks after submission so I'm hopeful that I could still have my son home before the end of October. His bag is packed and mine can be packed super quickly once I get word. I'm ready to go.

In the meantime, there are a few things I'm finishing up with - a few projects at work that I need to do before I'm on parental leave. About 180 thank you cards to write and mail (I'm almost half way done with that) and then there's my car that I need to sell. If you read my blog a few entries ago, you'll recall that my friends surprised me with a several thousand dollar check about a month ago - a check toward me getting a minivan. Providence Auto Group hooked me up with a great deal and I am now a proud owner of a 2002 Chrysler Town & Country minivan with (my favorite part) sliding doors and a rear door that open with the press of a button!!! LOVE it. The first day I bought it, I made use of the space by emptying my shed of all the glass and plastic recyclables I've been saving for several years and returned them to the recycling place. That was a good feeling - and one of the things on my list of things to do before Mihretu comes home. The second week I had it, myself and 6 other Visiting Orphans staffers piled in and I drove us down to Atlanta for the Catalyst Leadership conference. All that to say - I love my new minivan and I'm so happy that I have it.



But... for some strange reason - I've been having a hard time letting go of my car. I bought it new back when I worked at an ad agency in Michigan - I worked on Chevy retail advertising and we got a supplier discount so I got a discounted price on a brand new 2002 Chevy Cavalier. I got it at the end of 2001 since the new models come out the fall before the model year. That car was with me when I went through a heartbreak back in early 2002. It was with me when I packed up a 20ft moving truck, took a leap of faith and moved to Nashville in August of 2002 without a job lined up and without a single friend in Nashville (one of the best decisions I ever made btw). That car was with me on many road trips back and forth to Michigan to go home and visit family, through road trips to Florida, through all the years of singing in a band and loading her full of gear. She was with me through a move back to Michigan in 2006 and 3 months later when I realized that wasn't where I was supposed to be and moved back to Nashville, bought a house and decided to lay down some more permanent roots. She was with me through a lot of things. She was reliable. She was great on gas and she was finally fully paid off in 2006 - exactly one month before I bought my house. She's been a really good car. And while I LOVE my minivan and know it's time to sell my car, there's something really sentimental about the whole thing. It's like an outward visual representation reminding me that I'm heading into a new season. I know that life is about to change and I'm so excited to enter into this new season. I am so excited and so ready to finally be a mom!!! But I think it's good to reminisce and even be sentimental about the season I'm moving out of. It's been a good season. God has done so many things in my life and in me.

I'm not the girl I was when I bought that Chevy Cavalier in 2001. And I'm so thankful. I'm thankful for the journey and thankful for all the Lord has taught me through every tear, every transition, every celebration and every lesson. He is faithful. When I moved to Nashville in 2002 without a job or a friend, God provided a job and led me to my first ever church home and church family. A church family that I still get to do life with, praise the Lord! When I lost my job in 2009 because the company closed - He was my faithful provider and led me to Visiting Orphans doing something I love and am incredibly passionate about! During this adoption, He's been my provider, my rock, my shelter and my strong tower. As much as I wanted this process to be quick and easy and as much as I would have loved to have Mihretu home months ago, I recognize God at work in the waiting. He's taught me so much during this process. There are so many ups and downs and delays and snags and potential discouragements and moments when it looks like all hope is lost - and yet, I knew God called me to this and I could not deny the connection I had with one very precious little boy from Ethiopia. You do not have control when you are adopting. In fact, it's so obvious that you can't control really much of anything in this whole process that all you can do is cry out to Jesus and hold tight to Him. I've never prayed like I've prayed during this. I've never trusted quite so fully as I have during this. I've never held on quite so tightly as I have in this. And I can see the beauty in all of that. I can see God working it all together for good. Maybe even especially in the ups and downs. I've gotten to experience God in a new way. And though it's been my favorite bible verse for many years now, James 1:2-4 has taken on even more meaning through this season:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Faith is tested in those moments where things don't seem to be happening and you start to question whether you really heard from God. It's in the moments when nothing in the natural looks like the promise God gave you - those are the moments when you really have to decide what you believe and you really have to hold tight to the last thing you know that you know that you know God told you. Because in the months where you don't feel like you're hearing anything - those are the things you hold onto. That's when you really start to understand what faith really is. What a season it has been. What a God we serve. He is faithful when we are faithless. He is everything we need exactly when we need it. 

My friend is helping me sell my car and several people are interested. Someone is coming to look at it tomorrow. Maybe it'll even get sold tomorrow on the same day that I am submitted for Embassy which would actually be a pretty cool way for it to happen. I pray that whoever does buy her will experience God in new ways during this next season and have as many great memories as I have with that trusty ole Chevy:) When I say goodbye to her, I will be a little bit sad - I'm not gonna lie. But I'm also going to rejoice because of the new season I am heading into as I am just one month away from my 37th birthday and hopefully only a few weeks away from being a mom. I've wanted to be a mom since I can remember. I not only get to be "a" mom but I get to be the mom of the cutest little 3 year old boy I've ever met. He has so much personality and I only got to see a little bit of it in the week I spent with him. I get the honor of getting to be his forever mommy and getting to see who God made him to be every single day. I am SO excited. I already love him so much my heart feels like it is overflowing. I can only imagine how much more that love will grow as I get to share life with this precious child. 

Thank you Jesus for deeming me worthy of this calling. May you equip me every day of my life to be exactly the kind of mom you want me to be and Mihretu needs me to be. Amen!

God is in the details

Waiting is hard. Delays are hard. Not being with my sweet boy is hard. But.... in the midst of waiting and being away from him, I'm reminded of all the miracles God has already worked. I'm reminded that everyday gets me one day closer to having him home. God is bigger than all of this. He's in the details. Details like how, after a year, things finally moved with his paperwork right at the exact time that I was going to be in Africa and therefore, I was able to visit my sweet boy at my agencies care center and have an interview with the judge and pass court! That was all a true miracle - God's timing is perfect. Details like how well he connected with me and attached to me (and praying that continues even moreso when I go back to get him). So much to be thankful for.

I'm so thankful for all the support of so many people, including our Visiting Orphans staff who is fasting sweets with me until I get word that Mihretu is coming home. I'm thankful for all the other friends and family who have been and will continue to pray, for all the generous people who've supported this adoption financially and with encouragement and prayers.

I'm also thankful for the other adopting families who post pictures and videos of my sweet boy on our agencies sharing site. Yesterday, I watched the cutest video I've ever seen of my adorable boy playing ball with one of the dads and another boy. Mihretu had such a huge smile on his face and was just so cute. It warms my heart to see him smiling. That makes the waiting a little tiny bit less hard because at least I know he's ok and he's being loved on and played with and cared for. So thankful for that. Here are a few frame grabs I took from the video. Can this kid get any cuter? Just when I think he can't, he does. I cannot wait to get him home. He's got such a fun little personality and we are just going to have so much fun together. My heart is overflowing with love for him. I can only imagine how much more that will deepen once he's here. Once I get word that I can go - believe you me - the world will know because I will be jumping for joy and updating my blog, facebook and shouting it from the rooftops. So excited for that day. Soon. Soon.

Empowered to Connect

This weekend, I attended the Empowered to Connect Conference here in Nashville. For two days, I learned about brain function and what chemicals the body releases when a baby is nurtured and loved and their needs are met. I also learned about what happens when those needs aren't met and how devastating that is for kids from hard places. Even in the most loving orphanage, it's still not the kind of nurturing a child will get from his very own momma. To be held and stared at for hours a day. To cry and know someone is coming to meet their needs. To feel safe, to feel precious, to feel loved unconditionally. To know he'll be fed and his diaper changed. To know he has this person(s) who is always there for them. My sweet boy hasn't had that. He hasn't had consistency. I'm pretty sure there have been days when his little tummy has been hungry and his needs haven't been met. The rest of what he's been through - I may never know. But I know he has experienced much loss and hurt in his young life and that alone is enough to make any momma just want to lock herself in a room and sob for days. But you can't stay in that place. You have to move into the place of hope. And that's what this conference was all about. It equipped me with knowledge and understanding and tools for how to bring healing in my sweet boys body, soul and spirit. I truly hope that the things I learned will stick with me in moments when my knee jerk reaction could be frustration and instead turn it into compassion. Compassion for an innocent child who isn't intentionally acting out or being defiant but a child who has been in survival mode for a long time and didn't have the nurturing he needed. Dr. Karyn Purvis talked about giving our children a voice, letting them know they're precious and that they are safe and can trust us. While that is a huge responsibility that could be overwhelming, I just found myself wanting even more to get my boy home so we can begin the journey toward healing.

There's so many unknowns and so much info. I don't know what specific things will be a struggle for him. But I know that whatever it is, there are resources out there to help me so I can help him. I am beginning a journey with my son. And I feel so honored to be the one who gets to be on this journey with him. I know there will be many hard days ahead but I also know that I don't have to go it alone. I am so thankful for that. I've been thinking so much lately about all the families who adopted 20 years ago and didn't have all the resources we have today. I feel so blessed by conferences like this one and books about attachment and adoption and how to help our children heal. I'm thankful for other adoptive families willing to be transparent and real about their struggles. I'm thankful for a support network and most of all for a father in heaven who demonstrated exactly what adoption looks like when he adopted us!!!

My prayer is that Mihretu would know that I'm his safe place and that the connection we already have would continue to grow stronger every day and that the Lord would give me wisdom and compassion and patience and kindness and gentleness with this precious child He has entrusted to me.

Lord empower me to love my child well and to parent him in a manner worthy of this which you have called me to. Equip me with every tool that I need and all wisdom from above to be exactly what Mihretu needs me to be. Help me to be a very real example to him of what love is and who you are. Thank you in advance for this gift and for the honor of being this precious child's mom. Lord please be in all the details needed to bring him home soon so we can begin this journey together.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. ~ James 1: 5

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. ~ James 3:17-18

And the winner of the "Season of Thanks" painting is...

IMG 2329 from Autumn Kerr on Vimeo.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed toward me bringing my son home. I will be eternally grateful!

I apologize for the sideways video - not sure how to fix that:) 

Blessed beyond my comprehension

So I've been completely blown away by the generosity of friends, family and strangers alike. God is using boatloads of people from everywhere to get this sweet son of mine home. God has been on this from the beginning. After losing my job a few years ago and seeing how faithfully God provided during that season, provision is just not something I generally stress about. Some people have emailed me and asked how in the world I would raise that much money. I didn't know but I knew God did. And here we are, a little over a year later and He has totally provided in some really neat creative and fun ways. There were periods of long waiting and no news from my agency because nothing was happening with paperwork. But with the financial side of things - before I've even needed money for the next due date, it was there. I know this is all God because I haven't done anything worthy of any of this. But God loves Mihretu even more than I do and He's making it very clear to this momma that He is that sweet boys Abba Father and He WILL move heaven and earth to get this boy to his forever home. I also know that He will continue to provide for him and our family once he's home. There is so much peace and comfort in that. Especially as a single momma.

At this moment, between a generous ShowHope grant and lots of donations, sales from my blog store, yard sale and concert funds, I'm at just over $29,000 toward my adoption. It's abundantly more than I could have asked or imagined. I am thankful. So thankful.

And then on top of all that - the "but wait there's more" moment comes. No it's not an infomercial - it's crazy awesome mind blowing sweet friends who are still blessing me - this time in a way I would have never even thought of!!!

This was my facebook status last night:

Ridiculously blessed by a surprise tonight in which my small group informed me that an anonymous donor gave a large amount of money toward me getting a more reliable vehicle for when I bring my sweet boy home. Then my small group friends asked other people who knew me if they would be willing to match the donation and a bunch of other people donated on top of that to go toward it. I was completely shocked and surprised. Never saw that coming. I already feel so incredibly blessed by all the support for my adoption costs. Never in a million years would I ever dream of anyone donating above and beyond for a vehicle. It's all anonymous so I have no idea who to thank but you know who you are - a HUGE THANK YOU!!! I am a bit in shock but incredibly touched and completely surprised. Wow.

Yeah - wow is really the only word for that!!! This just feels different than the donations for the adoption. This feels more personal and more like a gift for me. First of all, I LOVE minivans and everyone who knows me well knows that. (No, I am not joking btw.) I am often known to say the words "if I had a minivan..." followed by statements such as "we could use it to take a staff road trip" or "I could totally fit all of these yard sale items in it". The Honda Odyssey in particular has a special spot in my heart. I drove one many times while babysitting for some sweet girls whose family owns one. Love, love, love it! Stow and go seats, push button sliding doors when you're carrying heavy groceries, room for all your friends and getting to ride high up - yeah, what's not to love!!! Minivans are so practical and I'm a practical girl. But to me, wanting one just feels like a desire. Not a need per say although of course it is a great family vehicle and it will be easier for getting a toddler in and out and probably safer than my current car. But because I love minivans so much - it really feels like that feeling some people might have about getting to indulge in an awesome vacation. I know - you're laughing at me right now cause not too many people in this world would feel that excited about a minivan. But I do. And so that's why this feels so much different, so much more like a gift for me. If I'm being honest, I much prefer being the giver than the receiver. But I can see God teaching me and showing me that He wants to bless His kids with gifts and He cares about the things that we love and want. I am completely in awe that my friends would want to donate EVEN MORE money on top of all the money they've already given to the adoption to help me get a minivan. I mean, seriously - I have the best friends in the whole world and you should have seen how excited they were about it. There truly is so much joy in blessing people with good gifts. I love being on that side of it. And while it feels a little strange on this side of it - I'm seeing such a neat glimpse of God's love and how the body of Christ is to care for one another in all of this. We are the church. And all of this - what a story to tell Mihretu as he's growing up! "Look what God has done to get you home, to bless you and your mommy and to provide for your family sweet boy!" No detail of our lives is too small for God. I'm still letting all of this sink in - still kind of shocked at the whole thing. I really would have never imagined. But God did. He's the best dad ever!!!